Monthly Archives: August 2012

Hair and Toothpaste and Chicago

If you follow me on Twitter, are friends with me on Facebook or stalk me in a red Mini Cooper or whatever, you know I’ve had an interesting 24 hours.  I chopped off my ponytail and went all pixie and then I spiked it up in a thousand directions and now am sorely tempted to put toothpaste in it to get the spikes to stick and then maybe streak it pink.  (Mom and Dad, if you’re reading this: I am completely kidding.)

The pixie, in a slightly more proper state.

I missed the Giants game because it was at a ridiculous time and also, I was in the hair salon.  Chopping that much hair takes a long time, guys.  From what I hear, though, it wasn’t pretty.   Madison Bumgarner wasn’t having the whole Chicago thing at all and San Francisco lost by a final of 6-4.  Yeah, not pretty.  Still, they finish the month of August a round 4.0 games in front of the Dodgers and September means – you guessed it – September call-ups!  Also, It’s September Inside and Maybe Not Outside, but that’s beside the point.  September call-ups are actually one of my favorite parts of the season and not just because they signify Starbucks starts selling pumpkin lattes.  Okay, maybe a little bit because of that.  But mostly, especially when the team is making a playoff run, it’s a lot of fun to see things mixed up a bit.  Six new players will be joining the team tomorrow as the Giants play another unreasonably timed game in Chicago tomorrow.

10am on a Saturday?  Get outta here.  If I do manage to wake up, it’s Lincecum pitching, so it should be interesting.  I hate describing Lincecum starts as “interesting”, but the alternatives are even worse, if slightly more colorful.  Anyhows, I’m just pretending that this August is like That August We Are Not Going to Talk About and Lincecum is going to snap out of it in, oh, two hours and fifty-three minutes.  (When September starts, in case you’re feeling slow or my attempt at humor is falling flat.)

I have to go.  My hair is short and the toothpaste is waiting.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  The Cubs gave away lip balm at today’s game.  Why on earth am I not a Cubs fan?  Alternately, why don’t the Giants do awesome giveaways like that?  Because I’m not all the tempted to become a Cubs fan seeing as, y’know, they’re cursed and stuff.

 

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If the Whole Borrowing-and-Transporting-Coors-Field Thing Falls Through…

I’m just going to link to this video and be done with it.  Because it never gets old.  (I would know.  I’ve watched it an undisclosed but definitely embarrassing number of times.)

Actually, I lied.  I have one more thing to say.  Joaquin Arias.  He has the highest batting average in the Majors in August and it’s… August 30th.  Yeah.  I would say “you can’t predict baseball”, except you’d all predict me saying that and it would kind of defeat the point.

Lastly, if the whole borrowing-and-transporting-Coors-Field thing falls through, we could always go for Minute Maid Park.  I mean, Hunter Pence seems to like it there.

Diamond Girl

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Say Hello to the Gullible Giants!

The word is that Guillermo Mota is on a plane to join the Giants in Houston.  I mean, he might not actually be on the plane anymore, because Houston’s pretty close, but the point is: he’s a-coming back.  Yep.

I’m pretty ambiguous on this front.  I don’t have a problem with them bringing him back post-PEDs.  I don’t think it’ll solve any problems, but I’m not against it, either.  Still, I am a little disturbed by their claim (which MLB officially agrees with) that they believe his whole daughter’s-cough-syrup defense.  Granted, the specifics of the case aren’t public and there may have been really overwhelming evidence, but still… I have a hard time believing it.  By “Hard time” I mean, “Who am I kidding, I don’t believe it at all.”

What I am wondering, though, is what else I could get the Giant to believe.  This could be fun!  Say hello the Gullible Giants.  Here are a few other things they believe:

The cough syrup defense is looking increasingly plausible, actually.

Diamond Girl

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The Dodgers Blockbuster Is Like… Blockbuster

I took a lot of photos of my blood orange San Pellegrino and it was absolutely delicious and then I Instagramed the photos and it tasted even better, because Instagram is weird like that, but the point is: none of that helped.  Sadly, I am actually writing today to recall any advice I may have given yesterday.  And I don’t even have any new advice.  (Which is kind of pathetic.)  Why?  Because I’ve come to a realization.  A disappointing realization, but a realization all the same.  Here it is:

Nothing helps with the stress of ohmygodTimLincecumispitching.

I will give you a moment to recover from the mind = blown thing.

Ready?  Okay.  Yeah.  I was pretty shocked too.  I’ve gotten pretty good, over the years, at eating pickles and painting my nails and making frappuccino cupcakes and all that stuff that relieves the stress of the Giants being… stressful, for lack of a better word.  I thought the San Pellegrino was going to help.  But it didn’t.  And if the best drink on earth (other than black coffee, of course) can’t help then absolutely nothing can.

We will just have to suffer.  And bite our nails.  And not have excuses to make cupcakes based on Starbucks drinks, which is probably the saddest part of all.

Still, the obvious brilliance of the Dodgers blockbuster deal is turning out a bit like Blockbuster the movie store, ‘member that?  Didn’t turn out so well.  I mean, yes, A-Gon hit the ball a billion miles in his first at-bat, but then Josh Beckett kindly gave it right back, allowing a homer to the first batter he faced in his first start in Dodger Blue.  As of this moment, the Dodgers are losing 1-0 to the Rockies (I laughed uncontrollably at the writing of that) and the Giants are still two games up on ‘em.  Heading to Minute Maid Park.  Things don’t look so dismal after all.

Diamond Girl

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Things That Help With the Stress of OhMyGodTimLincecumIsPitching

This is one my helpful posts, don’t you love this?  This one being Things That Help With the Stress of OhMyGodTimLincecumIsPitching.  And yes, as the Giants website helpfully reminds us, he has a 3.10 ERA since the All Star Break, but still, I am nervousnervousnervous.  Also, blame the four game series, because if them Braves win, we’ll split it.  Which is kind of an abomination, if you ask me.

Anyway!  Back to things that help with the stress.

 

Just one thing, actually.  Aranciata Rossa.  Blood orange San Pellegrino.  I have a six-pack of these lovelies in my refrigerator and it’s a 5:00 EPSN game, so go figure.  This will be a good evening.   (Assuming, of course, TimLincecumdoesnotmeltlikeanicecreamconeinthesun.)

Diamond Girl

p.s.  Yes, I promise to reacquaint myself with the spacebar before I write my next post.

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