Look, I know today didn’t go terribly well (understatement of the century? Perhaps.), but if anyone can help these Giants out of the hole they are rapidly slipping into, Marco Scutaro is the one. The One, in the romantic comedy sense of the term. To start with, he’s played on pretty much every team that’s ever existed, which has to count for something. That something might be figuring out accessories to match his various uniform colors or it might mean some fab experience that will really boost this team down the stretch. I vote for both. All of the teams he’s played on, per Wikipedia, just ‘cause:
- Cleveland Indians
- Milwaukee Brewers
- New York Mets
- Oakland A’s
- Toronto Blue Jays
- Boston Red Sox
- Colorado Rockies
- San Francisco Giants
- Boy Band Heaven’s *NSYNC
(Let’s play, Catch the Fake Team Name, shall we?)
There’s also an interesting article about him over on ESPN, which you can read right here and it features his kind of fantastic welcome-to-the-Big-Leagues story.
It was a Sunday day game, so he went into the hotel coffee shop to have breakfast by himself. A couple of seats down, he recognized the Mets’ manager, Bobby Valentine. “Oh my God,” he thought to himself.
He hesitated. Should he go introduce himself? If he didn’t, Valentine might ask him later at the ballpark why he’d avoided him.
So he overcame his shyness and spoke to Valentine. “Hello, Bobby, I’m Marco Scutaro.”
Valentine answered, “Hi, kid, how you doing?” and resumed eating. Then Valentine, a gregarious type, looked up and said, “So, kid, do you live around here, or are you going to school in Cincinnati?”
“I’m Scutaro,” he said.”I’m your new player.”
Anyhows, beyond all of that, I am of the opinion that Charlie Culberson was not a piece of the future in the way you could argue Zach Wheeler was and while this deal is obviously less flashy than that one, it’s also lower risk with a potentially good and productive return. Hey, it’s not like going big with Beltran worked out, after all that, and I think Scutaro makes a good deal of sense. The Rockies may be a cool 18.0 games out of first but even so, I am secretly very partial to trading within the division. Weakening teams that have a flag on our standings pole? That makes me happy. And while I’m admitting embarrassing things, it’s worth noting that I do have a Justin Timberlake song on my iPod. I mean, I bought it to use it for a certain video I was making. But I do still have it.
Willkommen aboard, Marco. We have lousy weather and overenthusiastic fans (cough, cough) but we’re pretty fun all the same. Also, we do not usually lose 10-0 to the Dodgers. Like, that never happens. Other than today. Want to make sure it never happens again? Please and thank you.
p.s. In heartwarming news, Chris Stewart hit a big ole bomb in New York this evening and the Yanks setting a franchise record for homers in first 100 games of a season at 157. (Speaking of cool and meaningless stats.) Am I the only one who misses that guy? Because I seriously do.