(Okay, so much might be an overstatement. But once is too many. Once traumatizes me enough to write a blog post. And it’s been at least two times this year, so I’m overdue. Therefore, I present to you: my semi-reprinted blog post from May 21st, last year. You can read the original right here. Then proceed.)
10. The opposing teams are being paid off to not just win, but walk-off win. There are a lot of suspects for this. The TV networks. Or B-Squad players who want more innings and opportunities. Or ridiculously wealthy season ticket holders who want excitement and a little more bang for their buck. Or, as applies to the Mariners, Starbucks. They’re from Seattle, right? So maybe they sell more espressos when there are walk-offs or something.
9. They have a strange condition like Bella Swan (Twilight, anyone?) that leads them to thrill seek.
8. Josh Byrnes/Ned Colletti/Kevin Towers/Daniel O’Dowd put their heads together and put a spell on the Giants so that they would not just lose, but lose in cruel and unusual ways. I know, I love those guys too!
7. It’s totally random and there is no explanation.
6. Walk-off win years happen every so, we-get-walked-off-against-years happen every so often too. I’m not real strong on math, so maybe some probability experts could take it from here?
5. The Giants are doing it on purpose, because they’re on a mission to prove to Sabes that they really have no offense and they really need to do tons of trades and things before they will be good.
4. They’re borderline really good, which is why they lose so closely. (Encouraging, right? Kinda-sorta.)
3. They peak too early. By inning 9, they’ve done everything they’re going to do. I don’t totally buy this but, hey, they say it all the time about political candidates and everyone knows the politics media is smartsmart.
2. Karma for giving out Orange-and-Black Fedoras at AT&T Park last season. Doing evil things can cause you to be cursed, you know.
1. It’s something in the water. My vote goes to that.
I need to go lust after pictures of Angels Stadium now. I am rather partial to that place, although not its inhabitants. Note to any Giants fans who might be down there for the series: it’s quite lovely, but also Weird with a capital W. Like, Twilight-Zone weird. It’s something in the atmosphere. You’ll know if you go. Or maybe it was just a fluke the night I was there and you’ll leave thinking, She is cray-zee. Which I might be. But that place is still weird.