So the thing about aliens is that they are generally very friendly, if you give them a chance, and they will stare at you with oversized eyes and glowing blue faces which is all very sweet. But they also like to, well, snatch humans. And replace them with aliens. It’s weird, really, seeing humans have never snatched aliens and replaced them with humans but hey, I do not pretend to understand the thought process of aliens [Hollywood].
My point? The aliens took pity on us and by us, I mean Giants fans. They saw the team’s sufferings and the fact that we were going to break all sorts of horrible records with the whole nothittinghomersever thing. So they turned in their oversized eyes and glowing blue faces for spikes and unis and stole away the San Francisco Giants. And started hitting homers very promptly. Lots and lots. Eight in the last four games. Three in a row for Brandon Belt. Homers to deep-part-of-the-park-where-no-one-hits-them-but-now-fake-Melky-did. I say fake Melky because, as you will remember, he’s actually a blue alien pretending to be Melky.
It was a little disturbing to me at first and kind of made me afraid for the zombie apocalypse (because all sorts of sci-fi characters kind of meld together in my head – zombies? Aliens? Same thing!) and I missed the real Brandon Belt, the one who is a Baby Giraffe and doesn’t hit homers, but then I adjusted. Fast. Because I like home runs. We all like home runs. And aliens are friendly, if you’re nice to them. So there’s really no problem. I can live with this.
I do wonder, though, if they’ve also replaced the pitchers…? Because if so, I’m looking forward to seeing Alien Timmy tonight. That should be fun.