Monthly Archives: May 2012

10 Reasons I Hate the Terrible Twos

I am not talking the nastiness that children take on at that age.  I am talking the terrible twos as in the hideousness we call a two game series, because we have two of them coming up in San Francisco.  Why, why, why?  Before I head off to watch a Little League game and miss the beginning of this one, I offer you 10 Reasons I Hate the Terrible Twos:

10.  The series can tie.  I’m not a terribly completive person… okay fine.  I kindasorta am.  The thought of tying a series is somewhat nauseating to me.

9.   Just when I start to get used to a team being in town (because it does take me a little while) and figure out all the new guys in the lineup, boom.  They’re on a plane to Tahiti.  Or Kansas.  Or something.

8.  If Carlos Beltran misses one game due to a “barking knee” – whatever the heck that means or boy, am I glad we did not sign the guy with the barking knee because I like to sleep and I live within fifteen miles of San Francisco so I might, you know, hear it at night – that means he may only play one game here.  Granted, slightly circumstantial reason, but still.

7.  It’s not the baseball way, guys.  Shall I play the nostalgia card?  Oh yes, I shall.

6.  The factual inaccuracies on my blog skyrocket.  Observe:  I blog about Game 3 and hit “Publish” before I have time to remember, right, there is no game 3.  Readers snicker at me and promptly stop being readers of this blog.   I go to my lawyers because I want to sue MLB for all of this, but my lawyers tell me my case is weak.  Crushed, I go get a job at a fast food restaurant and spend the rest of my life opening frozen French fry packages.  All because of two game series.

5.  A fairy dies every time there is a two game series.  Seriously.  (Not seriously seriously.  Just seriously.)

4.  On the contrary, an angel gets its wings every time MLB contemplates a two game series, but decides against it.  Incentives, incentives.

3.  No, really, it’s not the baseball way.  Nostalgia is an important tool.  Martin Lindstrom agrees with me.  Or maybe I agree with Martin Lindstrom.  I mean, which came first: the egg or the chicken?

2.  We don’t get to really know how we match up against them September-hot Rockies and them defending World Champs.  Granted, at the end of the two game set, I may be thankful for that.  But since we try to be optimistic over here, I am just going to assume the opposite.  ‘K?  ‘K.

1.  My fish gives me the suspicious eyebrow every time I update him on the Giants and there’s a two game series in the future.  I might be projecting or something, seeing as fish don’t really have eyebrows, but I still think MLB should take this under consideration.


Diamond Girl

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In Case You Ever Wondered What An Eugenio Velez in a Toy Shop Is Like…

Baseball Sundays are just the best, aren’t they?  The Giants won very tidily in Arizona today, by a final of 7-3 and got loads of hits in the process.  14, to be precise.  Is that the best or is that the best?  After such an up-and-down couple of weeks, a game that just goes down nicely is an anomaly and a welcome one, at that.  Gregor Blanco and Brett Pill were the stars of the show and Barry Zito squeezed out a quality start, too.  It is games like these that make you think – or, at least, hope – that the squad can work things out.  It may not be neat, but it may work.  They are back at .500 with 17 wins and 17 losses and they are six games out from the first place Dodgers.  Not terribly shabby for May 13th.  I think we may make it out alive, after all.

I am watching the Rangers (hopefully) rip through the Angels on ESPN, so I have to get going, but I would like to leave you with this two Mother’s Day stories.  This first one comes from the Giants official blog about former Giant Eugenio Velez and it’s a smile-worthy story.

“Pura Eugenia Vancamper named her son after herself, and they always had a particularly close bond. She knew early on that baseball had a hold on him. When she let her three children choose a toy one day at a store, her older son chose a truck, her daughter a doll and Eugenio, still just a toddler, went straight for the plastic bat and ball. She tried to talk him into a tricycle but he insisted on the bat and ball.”

This story, about Texas’ Alexi Ogando, is also wonderfully heart-warming.

“It took five years for that second chance to come, but it did come, and there came a day last July when Fefa Ogando was not cooking in San Pedro de Macoris. She was riding in a truck through Phoenix streets that were lined with baseball fans. Her son was on the back of the truck during the Red Carpet Parade on his way to his first All-Star Game at Chase Field, and the fans were shouting ‘Ogando! Ogando!’

Fefa Ogando turned to Rangers broadcaster Eleno Ornelas and said, ‘They know my son’s name! I can’t believe it. Thank you so much for talking me into coming here!’”

Lastly, of course, our very own Gregor Blanco dedicated his fantastic game to his mother, who passed away six years ago.  Bittersweet, but mostly sweet.  A very lovely day around Major League baseball.  Totally talking about the mother stories, but did I also mention that Nelson Cruz just hit a grand-slam in Texas?  Yes.  A lovely day.

Diamond Girl

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This Is a Roller Coaster.

The Scariest Roller Coaster in the World.  Which, according to YouTube is this one, right here.

I think it’s this one, right here.

The End.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  Seriously, this blog post is short because I am celebrating a birthday over here, the birthday of the Adorable Little Brother.  Admittedly, the only reason I remember his birthday is that it’s the day before Barry Zito’s but I feel bad about that, so I’m trying to be nice to him right now.  Catch y’all later.  (Just kidding, people.  Don’t go calling the Evil Sister Exterminating Squad just yet.  My brother plays guitar better than Barry Zito and pitches better than him in 96% of his Giants career, too.  I think I’ll keep the little guy.)


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Priorities, Priorities

Today, for once, my optimism is not hare-brained.  (I so want that phrase to be “hair-brained”, by the way, you do not even know.  Said with a hair flip, of course, because hair flips are ze best.)   Why?  Well, because our very own Madison Bumgarner is on the mound at Chase Field.  Aside from his obvious pitching skills, he’s also a darn good hitter and we are in desperate – and I mean desperate ­­­– need of a darn good hitter.  If it’s the Baby Moose or whatever we call him now who can deliver the spectacular with-RISP-hit, I will not object in the least.

I just Googled “baby moose” and guys, they are seriously strange looking creatures.  But I do totally see the resemblance.  Okay, maybe “totally” is an overstatement.  I kinda see the resemblance.

On a somewhat unrelated note, the Giants announced a tweet-up for this season, meaning a pregame event for their Twitter followers, for those who do not know these things.  I was intrigued for a grand total of twenty five seconds, before I saw that “food and drinks will be available for purchase” (can’t lie, I was hoping for free garlic fries) and the tickets are going for a cool $60.00+.  Unfortunately, meeting @GiantsFan22222 is not worth that to me.  I have cupcake ingredients and fab orange heels to think about and save up for.  Not to mention, you know, college and stuff.  But a hearty have-fun to everyone who does decide to go!

Excuse me while I slip into my fab orange heels… what?  Trying to make you regret your choice?  What a thought.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  Holy Josh Hamilton 4-Homer night, in case I did not say this before!  And also, Holy Tim Lincecum Haircut!  Every start, I am surprised by it.  It’s beginning (beginning?) to get weird.

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For Once, I Really Want to Thank Bud Selig

Did I rejoice too soon?  Nah.  I don’t think so.  Sure, last night contradicted all of the wonderful things I said about the Giants (you’re welcome, you guys, thanks for disproving me) yesterday, but I am still holding onto the ever-thinning thread of optimism.

Let’s make it Beat AZ, shall we?  Or, Save Tim Lincecum, maybe?  That works, too.  Save Us All also works.  We may need it.  Don’t even mention that it is only May 10th.  May 10th or September 30th, this is no fun.  I did not sign up for this.  (I signed up for Winnie the Pooh balloons and brownies, but that’s another story.  I gave up on that long ago.)

I’ve heard that Sabes and Bochy are meeting in Arizona to discuss potential roster moves but as Henry Schulman points out, they probably wouldn’t add a pitcher until after Bumgarner and Cain’s starts.  It is being reported that AAA’s own Shane Loux is meeting the team, although he may not be activated for a little while.  I’m a little wary of roster moves to be honest because… okay, it’s May 10th.  It’s not time for panic moves.  I have an overdeveloped sense of fear of the panic move.  If there’s a good, viable option, I stand behind that (of course).  But just because they’re tail-spinning at the moment doesn’t mean it is time to overhaul.  I am too lazy to calculate, but there are many, many days left until the trade deadline and the playoffs don’t start for months and months and, hey, there’s even an extra wildcard.

See?  Still hope.  And definitely no need for panic moves.

Diamond Girl


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