Monthly Archives: May 2012

400! And 2!

Yes, this is my second post for today.  Why?  Because, of course, it is not only the second anniversary of this blog but this post is also my 400th, all time!  Can you say awesome in 15 languages?  I can (with a little help from the magical thing we call Google Translate):

  • awesome!
  • impressionnant!
  • impresionante!
  • impressionante!
  • ehrfürchtige!
  • ógnvekjandi!
  • tuyệt vời!
  • anhygoel!
  • 真棒!
  • φοβερό!
  • awesome (Esperanto.  Apparently they haven’t really heard of awesomeness.)
  • strašan!
  • भयानक!
  • terribilis
  • cool story bro tell it again (internet speak!)

I can also say thank you in 15 languages:

  • Thank you!
  • Merci!
  • Gracias!
  • Grazie!
  • Danke!
  • þakka þér
  • cảm ơn bạn
  • diolch!
  • 谢谢
  • σας ευχαριστώ
  • dankon (Esperanto, guys, once more)
  • hvala
  • शुक्रिया
  • gratias
  • thx 4 readin ppl (internet speak, once more)

Thank you all for reading and hanging out over here, it is very much appreciated.  I can’t believe it’s been two years but it’s been an incredibly fun ride.  Stick with me and let’s dance, shall we?  Even Interleague Play cannot rain on my parade.

Diamond Girl

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Intergalactic Play Proposal

Dear Major League Baseball,

Emily here.  You know, the one who talks too much about your big boss Bud Selig and comments on baseball-related footwear.  That’s me.

Anyhow, the Giants are kicking off Interleague Play in San Francisco tonight against the Oakland A’s and, well, I am none too happy about it.  Interleague Play and I just don’t get along.  But seeing as it seems to be yourfavoritethinginthehistoryoftheworld (weird, but that is not the point), I have decided that if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.  Original epiphany, no?

But I am not just joining.  I am raising you one.  I hereby propose Intergalactic Play!

Them wookies throw wicked curveballs.

Not to mention, they obviously already feel totally at home at AT&T Park.

And in terms of expanding baseball farther so we can all get more money and BMWs and Hawaii vacations and things, talk about an untapped market.  All they have to entertain them is pod racing.  And I’ve only seen, oh, the ten minutes they put into The Phantom Menace but it was a serious snore, even just in that quantity.  After five hundred Star-Wars-elongated lifetimes of that?  I bet they are ready for some baseball.  (On an a somewhat unrelated note, I have always suspected that people in Star Wars land live so long because it takes George Lucas so damn long to make a new movie.  But that’s just a suspicion on my part.)

What do y’all think?  If you’re interested, message me on Pinterest or whatever.

In the meantime, I will just go to my happy place and imagine Watto as a GM.  Because he would be the best GM ever, hands down.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  May is Official Star Wars Month.  I have an excuse to do things like this.

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Matt Cain is Human and Bud Selig and Scramble With Friends Agree on Lew Wolff

Today, I:

  •  Tried to play the word “Lew” in Scramble with Friends.  Apparently, that is not a word in Bud Selig’s phone contacts or in the game.  “You never call, you never write…”  It’s a pity, you know.

  • Speed-made applesauce muffins in just about thirteen minutes.  I haven’t eaten them yet, so the jury is still out as to whether or not the whole incredible rush thing was a good idea.  I will let you guys know tomorrow, of course.

  • Found out that Brandon Crawford can do something right.  We’re talking 2-run single at perfect moment right.  (In other news, he does not look like Zac Efron.)

  • Also discovered that Sergio Romo does not enjoy getting in on Everybody Be Awesome Day.  It’s okay.  I get it.  I’m like that too.  I mean, not really, but I’m trying to be nice here.

  • Came to the fortunate conclusion that other people have dismal defense as well.  coughcoughCardinalscoughcoughDefendingWorldChampionscoughcough

  • Confirmed that Matt Cain is indeed human.  I feel reassured by this, I can’t lie, but am perfectly fine with him going back to his god-like ways in future starts.

  • Lastly, realized that my blog would be completely incomprehensible to someone who is not following the Giants/did not follow this game today.  Another pity, you know.  The shrugging turkey from this fabulous scene in Holiday Inn comes to mind.

Diamond Girl

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Sigmund and Aesop Would Have a Field Day With Us

Aesop would have a field day with us Giants fans.  (That is my bit of wisdom for the day.  You are very welcome.  If you are a little puzzled – understandable – then read on.)

Giants fans spent the better part of the last several years, with the exception of a few World Series drunk months, calling for the Giants management to play the young guys.  Heck, play the semi-kinda-sorta-not-even-really-all-that-young guys.  We all know how Bochy loves his veterans and Sabean has a bit of a penchant for them as well.  In 2010, lightening hit a bottle and those veterans were brilliant, brilliant enough to win the team a championship.  But as 2011 showed, perhaps, it was just that:  lightening in a bottle.  Which means it can’t be repeated.  So the calling for the young guys started again.

Then partially by necessity (injuries) and maybe partially by design, it happened.  2012 has seen a whole crop of young guys decorating the Major League roster.  Observe:

Those are the birthdates of the 25 man roster right now, excluding the pitchers – because nobody has really been calling for young pitchers lately.  With a few notable exceptions, they are young, young, young.  They are also, to put it rather bluntly, losing games.  They are winning some as well and Gregor Blanco, for instance, is performing quite nicely at the moment, but a lot of them are just simply not performing.

Bruce Bochy has made a few variations of the comment “this is a part of young player’s development” and while that feels a little ridiculous at face value, it is also intriguing, I think.  The Giants could go out and get some older players off of waivers or through mini-trades, around the deadline, but even if they won with those guys, would it be worth it, exactly?  Maybe they need, at this point, to be finding younger players and building a core.  They already have a pitching core and an excellent one at that, but otherwise, they just don’t have one.  Not to be completely ornery, but if that is what they do, I am happy to wait through a few losing seasons.

Mostly, I think as fans we have to take a moment of respect for the fact they are playing the young guys, they really are.  Maybe not the young guys we want them to play, but it’s happening.  Sure, Edgar Renteria looks awfully appealing at this very second, but… I kid, I kid.

Moral of the Story:  We want what we can’t have.

Come to think of it, Sigmund (Viggo Mortensen as Sigmund, that is) might also have a field day with us.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  Currently learning to speak with an Aussie accent, by the way.  Because Billy Beane loves his Aussies, it seems, and will totally hire me if he thinks I am one.  Good career move, mais non?  I mean, good career move and g’day mate and all that.

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You Know What?

I think maybe I can tolerate a two game series.


That is Gregor Blanco hitting a tape-measure shot in last night’s game against the Rockies, which San Francisco promptly won by a final of 3-2.  It kind of rocked.  I sipped my orange tea (which is so good I cannot even put it into words) and wrote the second-to-last chapter in Novel Project That Has A Name But I Can’t Put It Here, Just Because.  Second-to-last chapters are no fun at all, so it was rather good timing by Vogey, what with his three-hitter, and all the other people who saw fit to finally awaken from their baseball slumber and squeeze out a win.

Remember the Tale of the Sleeping Offense?  For a while there, it was the Tale of the Sleeping Offense and Defense and Probably Pitching, too.  But no longer.  It’s halftime, Giants fans, and our second half is about to begin.

Granted, this is not football (no siree, not football at all otherwise I would obviously not be blogging about it because, guys, I hate football) and the closest to halftime in this li’l analogy would be the All Star Break and it is not the All Star Break yet.  Because, I mean, if it were, Interleague Play would be over.  And Interleague Play is not over.  We still have to suffer through that.  So perhaps I should be saving Clint Eastwood for when that’s all over.  Or maybe just use him both times, because you can never have too much Clint Eastwood inspiration, right?  Right.  I completely agree.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  Apparently, it’s Greg-ore, not Greg-er.  As in Blanco, that is.  My earth is shattered due to this news, but I am slowly rebuilding it.  Donations appreciated.

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