Monthly Archives: May 2012

Pigs Have Flown in Boston, Massachusetts, ‘Member That?

My day started off quite nicely, hearing Bengie Molina on 95.7 The Game and grinning from ear to ear.  I had forgotten how much I miss that guy.  You can hear the interview here – he discusses everything from Lincecum’s struggles this season (more on that in a moment) to Melky Cabreras’s historic month.  He is gracious and funny and informative and says “man” too much… and did I mention that I miss him?  Move over, Barry Bonds, I want Bengie to come back to the Giants as a hitting instructor.

‘Member this, guys?  “Pigs have flown, in Boston, Massachusetts.”

Day kind of went downhill from there culminating with a horrible haircut (apparently every salon in the Bay Area is in on some “give Emily bangs even when she says she doesn’t want them!” kick because, seriously, this is the second time in a row and I went to a different salon this time).  I am now nursing aforementioned horrible haircut and listening to The Shins, just because.  Virtual hugs, as always, appreciated.

Onwards!  (No crying in baseball, as they say.  Not that I was crying over this.  For long.)  Lincecum’s outing against the Diamondbacks last night was encouraging, although there were still issues, for sure.  He pitched seven innings and allowed two runs, one earned.  Ironically, perhaps, it was one of his better outings this year, but he got the loss all the same and the game ended at a final of 4-1.  Arizona salvaged one game of the series and the Brewers did a tidy job down in Los Angeles, so San Francisco remains 5.5 out of first place.

Too early for scoreboard watching, you say?  Never, I say.  I scoreboard watch pretty religiously all year long because watching the trends go up and down is fascinating, for me, at least.  I also like to skim the magazine Elevator World when I get my hands on it, so my perception of fascinating might be a little bit off.  Point is, things for the Giants could be better, but they also could be worse.

Pablo’s return to the lineup is nearing (this is where my grin returns) and the Giants did take two out of three from Arizona, which is a serious improvement from recent history against the Diamondbacks.  The 20 games in 20 days stretch is over at long last and I think we are all enjoying an off day.  Aside from, you know, the haircut fiasco.

Also… just saw that Yu Darvish is facing C.J. Wilson in Anaheim on Saturday.  This should be an interesting one.  *sharpens knives*

Diamond Girl

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Oh My, Melky

How did we get this lucky?  10 50s that Melky Cabera would rock:

10.  Write 50,000 words in a month.   Seriously, if he can get 50 hits in a month?  NaNoWriMo would be cake for him.  Plus, there’s a serious lack of good baseball-related fiction out there.  He could forge the path.

9.  Bake 50 batches of garlic fries in 50 minutes.  Totally.

8.  Have a 50.00 ERA.  To those of you who were thinking we should turn him into a pitcher, ‘cause he’s so good.  I mean, he is so good but it’s probably better to leave him hitting.

7.  Go back 50 years.  Melky Time Machine Guy?  Doesn’t seem at all out of the realm of possibility.  Not to mention, Saturday’s game against the Cubbies is Turn Back the Century Game.  They’re going back 100 years, but that’s a multiple of 50 so I’m guessing Melky was involved.

6.  Take down 50 seagulls with one swoop of the hand.  Not advocating animal cruelty.  Just advocating giving the seagulls a great enough scare that they’d stay at bay (no pun intended) for a while.

5.  End 50 wars.  With one, perfectly-timed high kick.  I can picture this.  That might be thanks to my vivid imagination or it might be because it’s completely plausible.  No comments, guys.

4.  Learn to build a basketball arena and a football stadium in 50 minutes.  They’re building the new Warriors arena right nearby and the Niners stadium not too far away either, right?  Melky could pop in and help with the process in between innings.  I bet he’d be real good at it.

3.  Have a #50 hit on iTunes.  I kind of picture him doing sensitive indie rock.  Alternately, rap.

2.  Encourage expansion to 50 teams.  In MLB, that is.  And man the 20 new teams all on his own.  It could work.  Paging Bud Selig as I write.

1.  Get 50 hits in the month of May.  And thereby break Willy Mays’ record.

Once again, how did we get this lucky?  Pinching myself.  In between paging ol’ Selig.

Diamond Girl

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Ancient Rome Is Totally Inspiring Me

Does anybody mind if I just go slightly off-topic here?  No?  Okay, good.

Because I happened across a thing about the Circus Maximus in Ancient Rome – bear with me, there’s a point – and it said that in between the action, slaves would walk around and spray the spectators with perfume to ward off bad scents that are often present with large crowds.  Now aside from the fact that they were slaves and the Circus Maximus was populated with a variety of barbaric sports that tended to end in death, I was all, That is brilliant.

I think the Giants should do it.  They could have a poll on their website, “Which perfume do you want?” and then the winner would be sprayed between innings.  Some people are sensitive to perfumes, I know, so there could be a few sections where they don’t do it, just like there are peanut-free sections.

To, er, return to topic, Barry Zito, guys.  Seven hits and two runs over nearly eight innings.  I don’t even know what to say, except that I am genuinely amazed.  I also think it’s something of a testament to how he’s behaved for the duration of his contract with the Giants, up to this point, that the vast majority of people seem really happy for him.  He has conducted himself with grace and humility pretty much all of the time, aside from the endless “need to have fun comments” which we can forgive him for, and within the organization and the fandom, happiness seems to be the overwhelming sentiment.  That, in turn, makes me happy.  Can we have more feel-good stories, please?

I am also finding myself increasingly partial to Gregor Blanco also because, I mean, how could I not be?  He is loads of fun.  So is beating AZ.  Beating AZ is pretty much the best feel-good thing in the world, especially after feeling like they dominated San Francisco for a while there in everything.  Don’t look now, but I think the tide is turning.

Also, the word is that Barry Bonds may be coming back to the Giants at some point as a hitting instructor.  I am excited about this, if only because then I can reintroduce this shirt.  Oh yes.

Diamond Girl

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So Balkin’ Bob Davidson Has a Twin

So I missed today’s Giants game because I was at a mini-baseball tournament (massive tournament for mini-baseball players) with an ump who may or may not have been Balkin’ Bob Davidson in disguise. You know, Bob was suspended a game on May 18th this year and although I imagine he has served that and is back in action now, who knows, maybe he decided to brush up on his umping skills by going back to the basics? It sure looked like it. Over the course of three games in one day, he probably called upwards of six balks, on both teams. It was kind of weird, kind of funny and kind of horrible. Also, yes, there were three games in one day. Why do they put these kids – and, yeah, their long-suffering sisters – through this? One coffee and one overpriced passion fruit-peach-guava juice smoothie later, I am alive and still hearing “balk!” in my head.

I read that Melky was the star of the show for today’s final game in Miami, which the Giants captured by a final of 3-2. That guy is a one man team, for reals. I don’t generally work up the motivation to vote for the All Star Game until the last day or close to it, but I am feeling quite motivated at the moment. Because Melky is that smashing.

I decided to see if I could find a good GIF of Melky and I stumbled across this one on CBS Sports. It made me smile and I watched it, oh, one million times so I figured I should share the love. Grin. Be glad there is only one – scratch that, two – balk obsessed umps on the seven continents. I mean, I haven’t exactly scoured Antarctica or anything, so that’s just a guess. But probably a safe one.

Also! Thoughts go out to my Favorite Ranger Other Than Yu ‘Cause He’s Yu (not you). I’m talking about Alexi Ogando, who’s day-to-day with a bruised right hand. X-rays were negative, so he should be raring to go soon. In the meantime, send virtual blueberry muffins his way.

Diamond Girl

p.s. Hear about this guy who hit a homer by basically hurling his bat at the ball? Interesting new technique. They should introduce Handless Home Run Derby to the ceremonies in July.

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They Wandered Into a Forest With a Cannibalistic Witch, I Think

(You do not even know how much I want to embed the marlins and the trout video clip from The Social Network and then run.  But for you guys, I’m going to do something more.  Thankful?  Okay.  We can move on, then.)

The past two days have not been very much fun at all.  The red-hot bats have kind of gotten lost in a forest with a cannibalistic witch who likes eating offense – hey, no raining on my poeticism – and yesterday stung especially, at least to me, because it was (you guessed it!) a Timmy start.  Lincecum is 2-5 with a 6.41 ERA over ten starts this season.  Just like the rest of this year, he was struck by the curse of the One Horribly Nasty Inning yesterday and it’s a shame, because otherwise, he was doing quite nicely.  Some argue that’s Bochy call, to take him out before he melts down, but I don’t really think that’s an answer.  Putting a table cloth over a messy table doesn’t do any good, as they once remarked in my childhood favorite book Ballet Shoes.  For whatever reason, that quote decided to pop up in my head in relation to Lincecum.  I will choose not to comment.

But it wasn’t until Andrew Baggarly’s story for CSNBayArea.com today that I started to get seriously melancholy about all this.  You can read the full story here.  Here’s an excerpt:

He [Lincecum] said he honestly cares about what the fans think and he doesn’t want to let them down. He doesn’t want them to reach the point where they expect him to fail or to boo him off the mound. Even after all he’s accomplished in his career, he isn’t taking any fan support for granted. “I don’t want them to start to hate me,” he said.

My first thought was, “C’mon, are we really that fickle?”  My second thought:  “Okay, yes.  Maybe we are.”  Honestly, my overall like/dislike of a player generally has very little to do with how well they are playing at the moment.  Career and, hey, personality play a big roll.  But in terms of baseball-related frustration?  That one can come on awful fast, for sure.  You don’t usually hear a player come out and say what Timmy said but it’s an interesting quote, I think, maybe for that reason.  In another part of the article, Lincecum remarks that “he knows he’s close and there are as many good signs as bad ones. He has to focus on the good ones.”  To the fans, I think, it certainly does seem that way.

So let’s join hands and be non-bashing, mellow-ish people for the final day in Miami tomorrow and onwards from that, okay?  I mean, we’re allowed to bash the new Marlins stadium and stuff.  Just not Timmy… to his face.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  In the interest of reader feedback, feel free to comment and tell me you would have preferred me just imbedding the marlins and the trout video.  I won’t be offended.  Or at least I will pretend, through a barrage of internet smilies, not to be.  Hugs.

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