Monthly Archives: April 2012

Hugs, Bud Selig.

My day started far too early for a Saturday with a Little League game, A’s vs. Giants.  Nothing weird about that, right?  Aside from the fact that the Curse of Interleague Play (hugs, Bud Selig) hasn’t come upon us quite yet.  And the fact that I was rooting for the A’s.  It pained me, I tell you.  But I have people who I have to root for on the A’s, so that was that.  I swallowed my fandom and did it.  I still have a few words to say to the coach who got the Giants – words like, “You should have given that team to me! – but it turned out to be a good thing that I was rooting for them A’s, because they had an unprecedented comeback, went into extra innings and walked off.  I sunburned (duh) but otherwise, things were wonderful.

I came home to the disastrous end to the real Giants game.  Aubrey Huff played second base and pigs flew, as did Ryan Theriot, but it was too late.  He’s terribly ill, apparently, and just flew into NY today, but is still not well enough to play.  Since the rest of the Giants bench seems to have been mysteriously transported to a galaxy far, far away/the Hundred Acre Wood/Middle Earth, Huff ended up at second.  Need I really say more?   Moving right along.

 Then Philip I-Am-This-Close-To-Remembering-His-Last-Name pitched the 21st perfect game in the history of MLB (yeah, hugs, Bud Selig) for the Chicago White Sox, against the Seattle Mariners.  That was something and by something I mean absolutely perfect.  Literally.  You know what I mean.

Then Jennifer Hudson went through airport security… oh.  Sorry.  Just surfing the front of the news as I write and there’s a story about Jennifer Hudson and the TSA.  News, y’all.  Can I please blame this on Bud Selig?  No?  He wasn’t involved with the TSA?  You lie.  I am quite positive he was.

Anywho.  Then the Yankees had some sort of a brilliant comeback that I followed on and off while I drank orange juice because we’re having a heatwave over here and there is nothing better to soothe the horribleness of a heatwave than orange juice. 

This is all to say, it has been a strange and busy, but mostly strange, day in baseball.  Flyballs are falling out of my ears and when I try to talk about unrelated things, baseball similes are creeping their way in.  So I think I’m going to cut it off right here and nap and eat spinach pizza for a while.  Catch you all (and Bud Selig) later.

Diamond Girl

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“Who Are You Wearing This Afternoon, Pablo?”

(The title being the question they would ask Pablo if he attended super-cool things like the Indie Spirit Awards or whatever.)

I don’t have an amazing radar for this, like the people who write for gossip sites, but I think Pablo Sandoval is wearing Burberry in this photo from the MLB Fan Cave today.  (This. Is. Not. A. Gossip. Site. Don’t. Even. Think. About. Saying. That.).  I am still not much for the Cave, but I am absolutely adoring the shirt.  Grinning from ear to ear, adoring.

The scarf is Burberry womenswear, but so very similarly patterned to the shirt, that I just had to feature it.  I know my birthday happened a couple weeks and all, but you are aware that my half-birthday is sort of soon, generous readers, right?  The scarf is just £250Totally reasonable, if you ask me.

In other news, I am still jealous of the Giants being in New York, but it’s Brandon Belt’s birthday and all, so I’m trying to foster peace on earth and goodwill to all.  Trying being the key word there.  Let’s just say it’s kind of a work in progress.

Diamond Girl

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Dear Giants: My Fab Advice for Things to Do in NYC

I should, by rights, be in a wonderful mood today.  Yesterday worked out pretty smashingly for the Giants and Cain went out and proved that Bumgarner is not the only person in the history of the universe to do well after signing a contract.

But I’m not in a good mood.  Not at all.  I’m in a decidedly glowering mood at the moment.  See, I have an undeveloped sense of appreciation for off days, although I’m sure the players appreciate them loads so I should be happy for them.  And it’s not helping to see all the Giants-related people hitting up New York City.  I have a strong inner New Yorker, in case you haven’t noticed that yet.  I consider it my second home, although I’m not sure that particular feeling is mutual.  I am jealous.  I admit it.  Very, very.

Instead of just glowering though, I am going to try to channel this into something positive.  In honor of the Giants roadtrip, I am featuring my fab advice for things to do in NYC along a few (equally fab) photos of it.  Terrible excuse to something I just want to do?  Heck yes.  But it’s going to be educational and stuff too, so no complaining.  I know most of the Giants have been to the city before, but I bet they’ve never done this stuff.  Consider this my contribution of culture to the team.

5.  Silver Moon Bakery in Manhattan.  It’s a bit out of the way and terribly difficult to spot, even once you’re in the area, but believe me when I say, it is worth it.  Completely.   Dee-lish-us.

4.  Fort Tryon Park in Manhattan.  If you’re a Bay Area-er like me and used to some quiet, open space at arm’s reach, you may go a little crazy in the city.  Central Park is marvelous, but it doesn’t count as open space.  So if you’re willing to trek up the island to Fort Tryon Park, you will be very glad you did.  Trees, paths and a view of the river.  Luv-er-lee.

3.  The Cloisters in Manhattan.  This museum is likely one of the best you will see in your life and it’s in Fort Tryon Park, actually.  Two birds with one stone, as they say.  It is a part of the Met and the building is beautiful and interesting and smells like buttered pastries.  The art is pretty wonderful, too.  But mostly the buttery pastry smell is unmatchable.  Go-there-now.

2.  Central Park Carousel in Manhattan.  Be forewarned, they have beastly hours and are impossible to contact and yes, it’s a tourist trap.  But you will adore it anyway.  Ah-door.

1.  Walk in Manhattan.  Walk the length of the island, if you can.  The subway is glorious, but there’s nothing like just walking up and down and running into designer shops on the East Side and avoiding the seriously scary old ladies who are armed with hand dogs on the West Side.  Bee-ware and in-joy.

By the way, yes, they’re all in Manhattan.  I haven’t quite got Brooklyn et al. down yet.  I am working on, though.  If anyone wants to sponsor my research, don’t be shy.  Give me the plane ticket and things and I will be there in a jiffy.  Jiffy jiffy.

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I feel a bit better now.  Channeling negative energy into positive things is… positive.  Deep philosophy from Diamond Girl for the month.  Take note.

Diamond Girl

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6 Impossible Things After Breakfast, the Giants Version

I admit it: the title was just an excuse to link to a scene from one of my favorite movies in recent history.  It has Christopher Lee’s voice and Danny Elfman’s music and Helena Bonham Carter with a massive head, need I really say more?

It’s also rather inspirational, as one of the YouTube commenters remarks in a rare moment of lucidity.  Commenters on YouTube tend to be a little bit, er, off their heads, to just continue with the Alice-in-Wonderland-ness, but I completely agree with this one.  I mean, if Alice can slay the jabberwocky, then the Giants can beat the Phillies, right?  Piece of cake, people.  Seriously.  The Phillies are not ten times their size and they don’t have Christopher Lee’s voice (important?  Yes.) and they don’t have those huge, spiky wings, either.  They seem like fuzzy teddy bears, by comparison.  And the Giants just proved that last night, with a 4-2 victory to even up the series.  The last game is tonight and Pat Burrell is not throwing out the first pitch again, so it’s sure to get off to a better start.  (That was my last Pat Burrell snark for a while.  Promise.  Maybe.)

Anyhow, there really was a point to that title, believe it or not, beyond talking about Tim Burton’s fabulousness.  I am going to make a list now, ‘k?  ‘K.  You know how I love making lists.  Here we go.  Six Impossible Things After Breakfast, the Giants Version.

6.  Brian Wilson who?  Santiago Casilla is clean-shaven and he can pitch.  The pitching part is a plus.  The clean-shaven thing is so very important I cannot even put it into words.   No one ever said my priorities were completely straight.

5.  Madison Bumgarner may be the first person in recent memory to actually sign a nice-sized contract and then do well.  Okay, maybe not the first.  But it’s rare, y’all and I was pretty impressed.  Maybe it has something to do with his, eh, interesting background.  If you have a while to spare between watching cat videos on YouTube or whatever and reading my blog, you should probably check this article out.

4.  Pat Burrell was there and the Giants won!   Shocking.  (I had my fingers virtually crossed up when I promised that up there.  Accept my sincere-ish apologies.)

3.  I missed Bruce Bochy’s birthday.  Facebook is supposed to remind me about these things!  Again, apologies.  Happy Belated, Bruce’s Head.  That is, Bruce.

2.  Novel #4, which is a magical realism story about death, has all sorts of strange baseball lingo mixed in.  Because I write while I listen to games, when I’m in a time crunch.  It’s an… interesting effect, to say the least.

1.  The Giants can slay the… I mean, beat the, Phillies.  This blog does not endorse slaying.  Usually.  Except in circumstances of people who vote on the Academy Awards and always vote wrong.  You are welcome to slay them.  Just try not to mention that I was involved.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  In the category of non-impossible things, the Rangers beat the Red Sox 18-3 at Fenway.  My smile stretches from San Francisco to Boston and back again. 

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These Are the Things I Will Have Achieved by the Time MadBum’s Contract is Up

If my life plan goes according to schedule.  What is my life plan, you ask?  Let me fill you in.  I will have:

  • Graduated from my Ivy League uni of choice, summa cum laude
  • Met Mr. Right who has a surprising resemblance to the theoretical child of Sean Bean/Ewan McGregor/Michael Fassbender
  • Gotten large (large) diamond ring from aforementioned Mr. Right.  Hey, this blog is called Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend.  Need I really say more?
  • Won an Academy Award for strange acting performance in strange indie film
  • Won a Pulitzer for amazing reporting skills on Watergate 2.0
  • Won a Newberry Award for my heartwrenching novel skills
  • Win a Nobel Peace Prize for… TBD
  • Had a super-dramatic photo of my fish featured on the cover of Time
  • Had my futuristic yet trendy designs shown at New York Fashion Week
  • Been at the Olympics for something at some point
  • Met Will and Kate.  ‘Nuff said.
  • Switched places with Kate for the day, if only for that fantastic Alexander McQueen wardrobe
  • Probably met Sean Bean/Ewan McGregor/Michael Fassbender and professed my undying love for them (this is not required, but hoped for)
  • Gone the moon and made footprints there and stuff
  • Found a cure to cancer

Whew!  I have a busy seven years ahead of me.  But this is all just to put a little context on the amount on time in the new Madison Bumgarner contract (which is actually five years, with options for the last two).  I love Bumgarner, but that’s still a long long time.  Brian Sabean, you understand the magnitude of what you have undertaken, right?  Okay.  Good. 

Diamond Girl

p.s.  For the record, I am a hipster blogger with no life plan.  Do not take any of that seriously.  Thanks, darlings.

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