Hello, darlings, and apologies for my semi-accidental absence. I ended up spending the weekend lying under a large shady tree just bein’ lazy, as Bing Crosby might say, and watching/listening to baseball in the moments that I was not doing aforementioned laziness. No time for blogging, see what I mean?
Anyway, now that it’s the last day of the first month of the season and we have an off day at last (thank you, Bud Selig, you’re the best-ish), I am back to break everything down. April has been a strange month for the Giants, but then again, isn’t it always? You can’t say any of the games mean anything but it is certainly important in terms of getting to know the team’s personality on the field and often, I think, if you look back at April at the end of the season, you’ll see a lot of things that now look like psychic hints, even if they weren’t the least bit apparent at the time.
So! I’m just going to go on that hypothesis. If April tells us everything we need to know about this team, what does that mean for them? Observe, 2012 Trends for the Gigantes:
Hair Will Disappear
Why would I think this, you ask? Nod to Timmy’s haircut and Brian Wilson’s season-ending Tommy John surgery. The hair everywhere trend is so 80s, you know. The Giants are just now getting clued into this and life has never been better. In that sense, at least.
The Whole Season Will Feel the Dog Days of August, aka WEIRD
I am staunchly convinced that April felt like August this year, so you probably will not be able to dissuade me, no matter what you try. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, I direct you to the weird injuries like Buster Posey’s shingles and Aubrey Huff’s anxiety disorder. Stuff like that is supposed to happen when everyone is wiped out from a long season. We’re in for that all year, it would seem. I am going to need to break out my extraordinary multitude of virtual Get Well Soon cards soon.
This Will Be the Year of the Triples
You heard it here first. Of course, you saw it first on the field with Angel Pagan and Nate Schierholtz and people, but hearing is more important than seeing so I win, in this situation. Anyhow, I have always been of the opinion that triples are the secret weapon of playing at AT&T Park so they should probably, you know, utilize that. This year will be the year that Happens with a capital H.
Interleague Play Will Be a Drag
Okay, no proof here. But it always is, so that’s just a safe assumption, right? Until they play the Rangers, that is. That will be wondrous, of course.
They Will Pitch Well and Make Us All Gloomy with RISP Stats
Safe assumption, 2.0.
But really, I am encouraged. April has not been disastrous, mostly, and blue skies show summer is coming. Baseball is just getting started. Restock the orange juice and settle in.
p.s. Yu Darvish is on ESPN tonight which means I can fine-all-ee watch him. I am so excited you do not even know. The Rangers were also in ESPN last night, facing the Rays, and I remembered that Jeff Keppinger is with them now. Remember him, Giants fans? He had an RBI in the Rays 5-2 victory. This is Emily’s miffed face, right here.