I admit it: the title was just an excuse to link to a scene from one of my favorite movies in recent history. It has Christopher Lee’s voice and Danny Elfman’s music and Helena Bonham Carter with a massive head, need I really say more?
It’s also rather inspirational, as one of the YouTube commenters remarks in a rare moment of lucidity. Commenters on YouTube tend to be a little bit, er, off their heads, to just continue with the Alice-in-Wonderland-ness, but I completely agree with this one. I mean, if Alice can slay the jabberwocky, then the Giants can beat the Phillies, right? Piece of cake, people. Seriously. The Phillies are not ten times their size and they don’t have Christopher Lee’s voice (important? Yes.) and they don’t have those huge, spiky wings, either. They seem like fuzzy teddy bears, by comparison. And the Giants just proved that last night, with a 4-2 victory to even up the series. The last game is tonight and Pat Burrell is not throwing out the first pitch again, so it’s sure to get off to a better start. (That was my last Pat Burrell snark for a while. Promise. Maybe.)
Anyhow, there really was a point to that title, believe it or not, beyond talking about Tim Burton’s fabulousness. I am going to make a list now, ‘k? ‘K. You know how I love making lists. Here we go. Six Impossible Things After Breakfast, the Giants Version.
6. Brian Wilson who? Santiago Casilla is clean-shaven and he can pitch. The pitching part is a plus. The clean-shaven thing is so very important I cannot even put it into words. No one ever said my priorities were completely straight.
5. Madison Bumgarner may be the first person in recent memory to actually sign a nice-sized contract and then do well. Okay, maybe not the first. But it’s rare, y’all and I was pretty impressed. Maybe it has something to do with his, eh, interesting background. If you have a while to spare between watching cat videos on YouTube or whatever and reading my blog, you should probably check this article out.
4. Pat Burrell was there and the Giants won! Shocking. (I had my fingers virtually crossed up when I promised that up there. Accept my sincere-ish apologies.)
3. I missed Bruce Bochy’s birthday. Facebook is supposed to remind me about these things! Again, apologies. Happy Belated, Bruce’s Head. That is, Bruce.
2. Novel #4, which is a magical realism story about death, has all sorts of strange baseball lingo mixed in. Because I write while I listen to games, when I’m in a time crunch. It’s an… interesting effect, to say the least.
1. The Giants can slay the… I mean, beat the, Phillies. This blog does not endorse slaying. Usually. Except in circumstances of people who vote on the Academy Awards and always vote wrong. You are welcome to slay them. Just try not to mention that I was involved.
p.s. In the category of non-impossible things, the Rangers beat the Red Sox 18-3 at Fenway. My smile stretches from San Francisco to Boston and back again.