These Are the Things I Will Have Achieved by the Time MadBum’s Contract is Up

If my life plan goes according to schedule.  What is my life plan, you ask?  Let me fill you in.  I will have:

  • Graduated from my Ivy League uni of choice, summa cum laude
  • Met Mr. Right who has a surprising resemblance to the theoretical child of Sean Bean/Ewan McGregor/Michael Fassbender
  • Gotten large (large) diamond ring from aforementioned Mr. Right.  Hey, this blog is called Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend.  Need I really say more?
  • Won an Academy Award for strange acting performance in strange indie film
  • Won a Pulitzer for amazing reporting skills on Watergate 2.0
  • Won a Newberry Award for my heartwrenching novel skills
  • Win a Nobel Peace Prize for… TBD
  • Had a super-dramatic photo of my fish featured on the cover of Time
  • Had my futuristic yet trendy designs shown at New York Fashion Week
  • Been at the Olympics for something at some point
  • Met Will and Kate.  ‘Nuff said.
  • Switched places with Kate for the day, if only for that fantastic Alexander McQueen wardrobe
  • Probably met Sean Bean/Ewan McGregor/Michael Fassbender and professed my undying love for them (this is not required, but hoped for)
  • Gone the moon and made footprints there and stuff
  • Found a cure to cancer

Whew!  I have a busy seven years ahead of me.  But this is all just to put a little context on the amount on time in the new Madison Bumgarner contract (which is actually five years, with options for the last two).  I love Bumgarner, but that’s still a long long time.  Brian Sabean, you understand the magnitude of what you have undertaken, right?  Okay.  Good. 

Diamond Girl

p.s.  For the record, I am a hipster blogger with no life plan.  Do not take any of that seriously.  Thanks, darlings.

1 Comment

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One response to “These Are the Things I Will Have Achieved by the Time MadBum’s Contract is Up

  1. My instinct was to like Madison Bumgardner, but as a person who likes the Giants and wants to see them succeed, I get very nervous when I see Brian Sabean doing anything this long term. All I can say is I hope those are club options.

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