Monthly Archives: February 2012

Game of Thrones Bashing, Grammar Nazi-ing and MLB Fan Cave Hating

Big headlines these past few days:  the aces have back stiffness and beat writers take bad iPhone photos.  Which is to say, this Spring Training has been pretty eventful so far.  In bad ways (the former) and good ways (the latter).

At first, I felt pretty much the same way about Lincecum’s back stiffness as I did about Vogelsong’s: absolutely panicked.  But then I read Bruce Bochy said that this is really totally normal for Spring Training and nothing to be alarmed about and I had a big old epiphany and realized there was no need to start pulling my hair out.  Besides, if I start now, I’ll have none left for Opening Day, let alone the stretch run.  I have 18 inches of hair, but even 18 inches can be taken down with a whole lot of pulling.

As for the beat writers, the controversy is honestly a wee bit baffling to me.  I don’t want to link to the site directly because as a blogger, I know how I relish page hits but you can check out another article about how whole thing here.  Mostly, the TwitPics are bad.  I get that.  We all get that.  But I also don’t get the level of outrage it’s stirring up within the legions of fans.  Why do we need fab photos of Brian Wilson’s first bullpen sessions?  Can’t our imaginations do just as good a job?

Okay, maybe not.  But then if we do get a photo and it’s terrible and blurry, “grin and bear it” comes to mind.  Anyone who uses a digital camera vs. a phone camera knows the hassle associated with getting a photo from a digital camera onto Twitter.  Reality, is Twitter is built for mobile devices.

Aside from the quality, people are also getting up and arms about the subject matter.  Apparently people get sick of feel-good-nice-little-moments photos fast.  To which I have to say, shall we comb through your Twitter feed and find the time you live-tweeted Game of Thrones?  Or the time you tweeted photos of your breakfast every day for three weeks?   Or the time you retweeted the infamous pigeon twitter account saying “coo coo coo”?  Not judging here, you’re allowed to admit your weakness for George R.R. Martin and I will not comment despite my loathing of him.  My point is just that we’ve all done something along those lines.  If a beat writer is overzealous and nostalgic about Spring Training, “grin and bear it” comes to mind once more.

Just goes to show that if Timmy talked more about his In-N-Out we would all have less time on our hands to get preoccupied about things like this and the (baseball) world would be a much better place.  You listening, Freak/Franchise/Guy With Long Hair Who May Soon Have Short Hair?

Last but not least, I feel I should share my vote on the MLB Fan Cave so you all can go vote accordingly, of course.  I’m going to have to disappoint though and so my vote goes to (drum roll, please):  no one.  I really did try to put aside that I think the Cave ranks up there with Tom Cruise on Oprah as one of the worst publicity stunts of all time and go look for someone to vote for today, but I came up short.  Why?  My mellowing out plan went sour when some overwhelming percentage of the 50 finalists said, “I am someone that.”  At which point my grammar Nazi alarm bells went off in my head because people are not “that”s they are “who”s!  What are they teaching kids in schools… ten years ago when these hipsters were in them?

I ask you.

Diamond Girl

About these ads

1 Comment

Filed under Uncategorized

The Whole Baseball-Injuries-That-Do-Not-Exist-In-The-Real-World Thing

They are falling like flies, people.

(Yes, I know flies to honey is a different cliché entirely.  But this little cartoon was just too good to pass up.  Bear with me.)

Okay.  Maybe that’s unfair.  One of them fell in an only slightly fly-like way.  But that is still reason for a bit of mass hysteria, if you ask me.  I mean, after last year, us Giants fans have a right to be paranoid about injuries.  If you have puzzled googly eyes because you are not as glued to Twitter as I am (understandable), then I will share the sensational news: Ryan Vogelsong announced today that he is out for 10 days with back stiffness.  AKA, he may never be able to use his back again.  Let’s just say my state of smiliness went up in a poof of blue smoke.

Because, sure, I am still massively excited about Spring Training and catchers and pitchers getting fab new tans and Buster Posey being Buster Posey and all of that, but injuries are just a massive buzzkill, aren’t they?

I know back stiffness is, on the scale of Baseball Injuries (That Do Not Exist In the Real World), not really that serious.  They can come back to haunt players later in the season, of course, but it’s not- gasp- the arm or anything like that.  And if Vogey is anything like Lincecum (think: All Star Game), maybe he’s just nervous and trying to avoid the spotlight of the beginning of Spring Training.  I told you that injuries breed paranoia.  I am entitled to a few conspiracy theories here.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to check that my back door is locked and look at a few more blurry photos of Barry’s new windup which is going to potentially bring World Peas and a cure to cancer!  Plus maybe good pitching.  Do you all understand the magnitude of this?

Diamond Girl

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

My Letter to Bud Selig On the Eve of Spring Training

Dear Bud Selig,

Hi!  Have you missed me and my letters of bullyin- I mean, recommendation- to you?  Wait.  Don’t answer that one.

Anyway!  I feel like I’ve touched on this before, but I feel the need to say it clearly and detailed-ly now, on the eve of Catchers and Pitchers Reporting Day.  For the Giants, A’s, Reds, Cubs, Pirates, Phillies and Orioles.

Which is, actually, just my point.

Wouldn’t it be a thousand times more climactic to be able to just say, “the eve of Catchers and Pitchers Reporting Day,” without all the team names at the end?  AKA, shouldn’t they all report on the same day?  Now, look.  I understand all the stuff about free will vs. predestination and letting teams do their own thing and that this is not a mandatory report date anyway, but that is all completely beside the point.  Imagine if it was like this at the beginning of the regular season, with Opening Day spread out over a whole bunch of days?  How terrible would that be?  (It would, obviously, be absolutely terrible.)

Also, on the practical side, this bad scheduling makes my brain have to work a lot harder than it likes to.  Since my iPod has a deep and unfounded hatred of me and refuses to accept it when I schedule appointments or events on the calendar app, I have to store all this info in my head.  Which means that every day, in between watching Dior fashion shows over and over, I have to do my sleuthing and find out who might possibly be reporting to Arizona today.  Waste of time with a capital “W”.

Besides which, the Giants were tweeting photos of Nate Schierholtz working out in the batting cages today.  I mean, I’m not going to go out there and say they shouldn’t let Nate take BP.  But tweeting about it?  That’s like tweeting a link to the wedding scene from Breaking Dawn, Part I the day before the movie comes out.  You can’t leak the most important details right before it happens, people!

So here’s what I propose:  something a little more, well, dramatic.  I’m talking, you sucker all the players into getting buzzy new haircuts and stuff and then they all make their grand debuts before the cameras on one, predetermined, day.

If only for the sake of my overscheduled brain.

Thanks, Bud.  You’re the best.  And while you’re at it, please scrap all the expanded playoffs weirdness.  That’s just… weird.  For lack of a better word.

Thanks again!

Diamond Girl

p.s.  If you’re feeling annoyed after finishing this letter, just imagine if I’d written you a version of Goodnight Moon, adapted to Goodnight Offseason, like I was initially planning.  And feel blessed I went with this idea instead.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

My Dreams Have Officially Been Crushed

In today’s depressing news, “@Yoenis_Cespedes” on Twitter is not really the Cuban outfielder who reportedly closed a deal with the A’s yesterday worth $36 million.  (You could buy about ten gourmet cupcakes ‘round here with that kind of money.)  Why is this depressing?  Check out one of the account’s recent tweets:

also my fans i will be honest with u on this ok i really like oakland a jerseys and shoes they are very style and miami was just ok really

I was seriously clapping my hands together in glee at reading that.  I was all, “We have someone who is actually vaguely fashion-conscious on a Bay Area sports team!”   (Barry Zito lost that title when he wore this, of course.)  Then Jane Lee, of mlb.com, went and shot down once and for all that that was really his account.  Which was good journalism and everything, but still decidedly depressing.

I do have to agree with the troll- I mean, person- running the fake account, though.  Oakland’s uniforms are a thousand times better than those Miami ones.  Especially those new weird rainbow ones that they’re rolling out with their new stadium which may or may not also be rainbow themed.  Unconfirmed on that, but I’m working on it.  If anyone every did a baseball themed fashion show, I would totally recommend the A’s as a model.  Open for loose interpretation, of course.  Loose loose interpretation.  Just because I said they’re good in the scheme of baseball uniforms doesn’t mean I’m saying they’re ready for the runways.

Anyhow!  The Giants were so kind as to inform me very cheerfully via iPhone notes app that Spring Training is now three days away.

This was the photo reminder.  Instagramed, no less.

Three days!  Staying on the topic of cupcakes, since I can make cupcakes from scratch in just under 13 minutes, I could make about 220 batches of cupcakes, which is about 2640 cupcakes, between now and Spring Training starting.  Perhaps enough to feed the Giants 25 man roster?  Or to open my own gourmet cupcake shop that sells them for a slightly more reasonable price?

That would, of course, all be contingent on my taking no breaks on the baking front for three days.  Not even to check Twitter or scroll through photos of badly dressed celebrities.  Read: unlikely.

Still, this all goes to show that Spring Training is very soon.  To make a long story short.  Which is good news indeed.

Diamond Girl

3 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

My Own Armando Galarraga Moment, Comin’ Right Up

In between doses of Once Upon a Car and some books of French fairytales, this is my new reading assignment.

That’s right.  Diamond Girl is going all ump on you.  I will soon be decided the futures of Little League games and arguing with Little League dads who are probably some of the most fearsome people you will meet in your life.  I went to my first ump training session yesterday and am pretty much scared out of my mind.  But excited.  And scared.

See, when I think about it in the sense of If I were to blow a call and crush a kid, who then decided that, because of said blown call, he doesn’t want to play baseball anymore and he hates the game for the rest of his life, when he was really destined to become the next Derek Jeter… I get more than “pretty much” scared out of my mind.  So I am trying not to think about it that way.  Instead, I’m thinking about it as, What could possibly be worse than butchering kid’s names in the announcer’s booth?  Then I feel much better.

One confusion did arise when, in one of the ump training PowerPoint slides, they said, “Dress to impress!”  I started thinking of all sorts of interesting ways I could make the ump uniform most interesting and fun when I suddenly realized they meant black pants and a black t-shirt.  Huh.  This is going to be interesting.

Wish me luck, my friends.  I may need it.

Diamond Girl

2 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized