They are falling like flies, people.
(Yes, I know flies to honey is a different cliché entirely. But this little cartoon was just too good to pass up. Bear with me.)
Okay. Maybe that’s unfair. One of them fell in an only slightly fly-like way. But that is still reason for a bit of mass hysteria, if you ask me. I mean, after last year, us Giants fans have a right to be paranoid about injuries. If you have puzzled googly eyes because you are not as glued to Twitter as I am (understandable), then I will share the sensational news: Ryan Vogelsong announced today that he is out for 10 days with back stiffness. AKA, he may never be able to use his back again. Let’s just say my state of smiliness went up in a poof of blue smoke.
Because, sure, I am still massively excited about Spring Training and catchers and pitchers getting fab new tans and Buster Posey being Buster Posey and all of that, but injuries are just a massive buzzkill, aren’t they?
I know back stiffness is, on the scale of Baseball Injuries (That Do Not Exist In the Real World), not really that serious. They can come back to haunt players later in the season, of course, but it’s not- gasp- the arm or anything like that. And if Vogey is anything like Lincecum (think: All Star Game), maybe he’s just nervous and trying to avoid the spotlight of the beginning of Spring Training. I told you that injuries breed paranoia. I am entitled to a few conspiracy theories here.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to check that my back door is locked and look at a few more blurry photos of Barry’s new windup which is going to potentially bring World Peas and a cure to cancer! Plus maybe good pitching. Do you all understand the magnitude of this?