After reading that the Yankees are going to be coming out with two original perfumes later this month, which are imaginatively titled, “New York Yankees” and “New York Yankees for Her”, I got to thinking about the whole baseball-related-perfumes thing. I, personally, am a Brit by Burberry girl and the Italian lime, icy pear, green almond, white peony, sugared almonds (cousins to cinnamon roasted almonds- obviously why I bought it), amber, mahogany, vanilla and Tonka bean notes it contains make me feel glam and British all the time. But I admit, I nearly bought Prada’s Amber because 1) I am a Lover of All Things Prada and b) it reminded me of olives and pizza and spaghetti. Sometimes scents that bring up particularly vivid images, especially of food, are terribly attractive to a buyer.
So what about a scent that smells like All Things Baseball? Whatever that means to you in particular. We’re not all garlic fries people. And anyone can tell you that the bleachers smell completely different than a second tier box.
So! I now present to you a Diamond Girl original, “Create Your Own Baseball Fragrance”! Just select a option for each question and keep track on your fingers or a spare piece of paper. Prepare to be wowed at the end. Now you’re ready to go.
1. What is your favorite ballpark food?
a) A hot dog and some fries are a classic and perfect choice.
b) The catered sushi is the best!
c) Can’t beat a Philly cheese steak, now can you?
d) I whet my appetite with a soda, add a hot dog with a fun blend of condiments, one serving of fries and then top it off with a few sticks of cotton candy.
2. What is your favorite place to sit in the stadium?
a) As long as I can see a ballgame, anywhere is fine.
b) The suite. Duh.
c) The heat of the bleachers is the best!
d) Near the concessions stands, of course.
3. Who is your favorite player in the Major Leagues?
a) Buster Posy of course! I saw him in Single A Fresno and have been following him ever since.
b) No one is classier than A-Rod himself.
c) If he can trash-talk, I dig him.
d) The Kung Fu Panda is loveable and a blast to watch.
4. What is your favorite between-innings scoreboard feature?
a) The updates about the Minor Leagues are always interesting.
b) When the camera shows moi and the light catches my new highlights.
c) When the camera shows me and my buddies in our chest-paint!
d) The features about the stadium food are a lot of fun and totally make me hungry
5. What is your favorite color?
a) The green of freshly mowed grass.
b) Black and white. Very Chanel.
c) Team colors, yo!
d) If it looks edible, it’s good.
If you got mostly A’s, your scent is… Simply Green, by Buster Posey. Presented by a quintessential good American ballplayer, this scent is for the fans who dig baseball games of all levels, everything from Little League to the sparkly Major Leagues. The scent combines the fresh smell of grass with notes of that distinctive freshly ironed clothes smell. This retro perfume will you take you back to the joys of small-town America.
If you got mostly B’s, your scent is… Bâşèbãll, by Alex Rodriguez. You ooze sophistication and love all things chic and tailored about the game of baseball. This scent smells like clear summer days, water and the citrus notes of icy lemonade. Perfectly suited for everything from your suite at the ballgame to a gathering later in the evening, this perfume is endorsed by one of baseball’s best socialites.
If you got mostly C’s, your scent is… Move, by Jonathan Papelbon. Made for the people who have an equal love of both playing and watching baseball, this scent captures the essence of the heat and movement of sports, with a unique blend of sweat and tension that will amp you up for a hot day, whether you’re on the field or in your seat.
If you got mostly D’s, your scent is… Crimson and Gold, by Pablo Sandoval. The Kung Fu Panda is rather partial to ketchup and mustard, so he’s the perfect guy to endorse this ballpark-food-themed scent aimed at the bleacher-sitting, seed-chewing fan. Featuring yummy whiffs of hot dogs, garlic fries and cotton candy, this is sure to leave your friends hungry for more.
If you got a mix of all of them… Congratulations, you may be a well-adjusted and semi-normal human being! Proceed to the mall and buy a real perfume. xoxo.