10 Things Yu Darvish Should Do in Dallas

Now, granted, I have never been anywhere near the Dallas/Fort Worth area, but would that stop me from giving advice?  Of course not.

Every news source on the face of the earth aside from TMZ and InStyle magazine is reporting today Yu Darvish has touched down for a little visit in Texas.  He’ll be viewing the stadium and hanging with the execs, although everyone says a contract decision “is not imminent”.  Gotta love GM speak.  I suspect there will be caviar involved, but you knew I would say that.

The real question is, though, as charming as Rangers Stadium is, can it convince Darvish?  I would guess not.  The Rangers will need some more- shall we say- innovative ­tactics to convince him that DFW is the place for him.

A few suggestions:

10.  He could start off the morning by picking up a new suit for the day’s adventures at the Burberry store.  A cream colored trench and some aviator sunglasses would suit his style to perfection.

9.  If he stays through Saturday, then the Bishop Arts Saturday Market seems like a good choice to visit next.  Located near many beautiful buildings from the 20s era, the market presents a unique array of food, shopping and live events.

8.  If he’s in the mood for a roadtrip now, a drive up the Waco would definitely be in order.  Waco has the Texas Ranger Hall of Fame and would provide a nice and subtle boost of Ranger pride to get Darvish in the mood to sign a contract later.  (What was that you said?  Not imminent?)

7.  After the long drive, Yu is sure to be tired.  Why not kick back at the Cinemark West Plano theatre which has a huge IMAX 3D screen and a 4:10pm showing of The Adventures of Tintin?

6.  Alternately, the darkness of the Dallas World Aquarium is another great place rest up a bit and also view some amazing underwater displays.  They currently have an exhibit called “Orinico” which “highlights the unique bio-diversity of this important South American rainforest ecosystem.”  Like the Enya song!  (Okay, maybe he doesn’t like Enya.  But still.)

5.  A fantastic pre-dinner adventure is waiting at the Mozzarella Company’s Wine and Cheese Pairing Class on Thursday evening.  I don’t know if Darvish is as into Italian food as I am, but if he is, this should convince him that DFW is the place for him in a heartbeat.

4.  More Italian food!  D Magazine says Capriccio Ristorante is one of the best Italian restaurants in the area and they rave about their fresh escargot sautéed in a white wine, roasted eggplant layered with spinach and melted mozzarella with pomodoro sauce.  Bam.  Yum.  The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.

3.  There’s nothing quite like a museum exhibit after a fabulous dinner.  Why not venture out to Fort Worth and try John Marin: Modernism at Midcentury at The Amon Carter Museum?  The museums says that John Marin was one of the first movers and shakers in the world of American abstract expressionism and this will be an even for art-lovers and non-art-lovers alike.  (Why do I get the lingering feeling he might fall into the latter category?

2.  Club time!  There’s only one place to do clubbing the right way in Dallas and it’s Candle Room.  www.dallas-things-to-do.com says “A Dallas Uptown staple, this members-only club features an elegant, classy interior with high vaulted ceilings, big chandeliers and inviting lounge tables. Start the night off down the street at Old Monk, Vickery Park or Victor Tangos, and then stroll over here to get your groove on. Be sure to visit Candle Room on Wednesdays for a great mainstream mashup DJ that will keep you on your toes all night.”  Sounds about right.

1.  Yu is sure to be really tired now.  The Ritz Carlton Dallas and its fluffy pillows, full-spa-treatments and much more are waiting for him.

I think the Rangers need to hire me as their Convince-Players-To-Sign-Here-Go-To-Person.  They could even treat me to some of the places on this list as way of convincing me to take that job.

Not that I’d need a lot of convincing.

Oh and if they’re all a little directionally challenged?  I’ve made a Google map with all of these spots, in order, for convenience’s sake, which you can see here.  Because I’m nice like that.  You’re welcome, Rangers.  I expect a tacky ring when you sign Darvish and promptly win a World Series.

Diamond Girl

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