Dear TV Execs,
I admit it, I didn’t watch your new show tonight, Baseball Wives. That’s because Google told me all I needed to know about it. Yeah, I know. Google rocks.
But really, you’re a smart bunch, right? Then get us some girls who are actually dating baseball players, m’kay? Or else rename it “Woman Who Didn’t Make the Desperate Housewives of Atlanta Cut” or something and we can all leave happy.
Or better still, get a real concept and film Hideki Matsui eating breakfast pastries or Thad Levine being coerced into staying with the Rangers. I’m mean, that’s real drama, right there! I suspect a) a knife to his back b) a new BMW- which would crack me, too or c) guaranteed, all expenses paid vacays in Hawaii for a few months on end. I mean, it could have been loyalty too, but that seems awfully boring/unexciting. Let’s just suspect things instead.
Alternately, you could film Barry and The Fiancée getting their marriage license and discussing, um, hair poufing techniques for beauty pageants. Or do a baby-name consulting show with special guests Brian and Amanda Sabean, because, come on, Declan is fantastic.
I am coming for your job, cupcakes. You wait and see. Although I can’t guarantee I can get a cab very fast, so the show may already be cancelled by the time I get there. But I’ll be there soon, have no fear.
p.s. Speaking of that Hideki Matsui deal… am I the only one who things maybe they should have kept that story under wraps until if or when Matsui wins the batting title? Because if he has, well, difficulties next year, that story will be torn to pieces by the yowling dogs that are baseball fans. Seriously.