Monthly Archives: November 2011


Dear TV Execs,

I admit it, I didn’t watch your new show tonight, Baseball Wives.  That’s because Google told me all I needed to know about it. Yeah, I know. Google rocks.

But really, you’re a smart bunch, right? Then get us some girls who are actually dating baseball players, m’kay? Or else rename it “Woman Who Didn’t Make the Desperate Housewives of Atlanta Cut” or something and we can all leave happy.

Or better still, get a real concept and film Hideki Matsui eating breakfast pastries or Thad Levine being coerced into staying with the Rangers.  I’m mean, that’s real drama, right there!  I suspect a) a knife to his back b) a new BMW- which would crack me, too or c) guaranteed, all expenses paid vacays in Hawaii for a few months on end.   I mean, it could have been loyalty too, but that seems awfully boring/unexciting.   Let’s just suspect things instead.

Alternately, you could film Barry and The Fiancée getting their marriage license and discussing, um, hair poufing techniques for beauty pageants.  Or do a baby-name consulting show with special guests Brian and Amanda Sabean, because, come on, Declan is fantastic.

I am coming for your job, cupcakes.   You wait and see.  Although I can’t guarantee I can get a cab very fast, so the show may already be cancelled by the time I get there.  But I’ll be there soon, have no fear.


Diamond Girl

p.s.  Speaking of that Hideki Matsui deal… am I the only one who things maybe they should have kept that story under wraps until if or when Matsui wins the batting title?  Because if he has, well, difficulties next year, that story will be torn to pieces by the yowling dogs that are baseball fans.  Seriously.

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The Truth You Haven’t Been Hearing About CJ and the Rangers

You’ve probably been hearing that the Rangers don’t-have-enough-money-think-they’re-good-without-CJ-just-aren’t-interested.  But the truth is something quite different and, in fact, quite peculiar.  It has to do with an iPhone app and a long-forgotten interview clip with Wilson himself.  What is it?  Read on.

(And yes), it took a whole bunch of super sleuthing on my part to find it out.  I’m channeling my inner James Bond rather well these days, huh?)

Do you remember way back when the media couldn’t get enough of the Rangers playing Words With Friends in the clubhouse?  And they interviewed CJ over and over (and over) about his genius intelligence and absolute brilliance at the game?  Yeah.  And in one of those interviews that I remember distinctly but can’t really (at all) find.  [Update:  thanks to the wonderful @cat4d1 on Twitter, we have the clip!  You can watch it here.]  CJ says: “He [Jon Daniels] was really frustrated that I beat him the first time, so… we’ll see.  Hopefully it doesn’t, you know, complicate the contract negotiations next year.”  We all laughed.  It was funny.  It was a joke.  Or so we thought.

But then he became a free agent and there were the Rangers and JD; distinctly, well, chilly about him.

At which point I leapt to my feet and stuttered excitedly, “It was the… it was the… the… game!  Words With Friends!”  And while everyone around me was completely puzzled, I was and still am confident that I have hit the jackpot.

I can’t decide if I suspect it was CJ or Daniels who made the mega-move, but someone here is a sore loser and I am inclined to suspect CJ.  Either way, this just goes to show that GMs and players should keep their distance or else be prepared for the consequences.

Or, at least, play Hanging With Friends by the same creators because it is seriously a lot more fun.

This is, of course, the scoop you come to my blog for.  You’re welcome

007 (Diamond Girl)

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Well, not to get all I-told-you-so on you, but I did tell you so.

Let’s flash back to July 30th, 2011 at about 5:03 pm, when I posted a blog post titled, “An Epic Gathering of All 30 General Managers for a Round Table Chat About the Trade Deadline”.  In it, all the GMs basically talked smac- that is, shop- with one another.  What were Ed Wade’s words?

Ed Wade, Astros- I’ve loved working with all of you.  Really, I have.  If my job, ahem, something, ahem, happens to it.  You all are the best.  (At this point he takes out a blue and white checkered hankie and dabs his eyes.)

Theo Epstein, Red Sox- (Looking at Wade with distaste.)  You know, Ed, your name has always reminded me of that odd Johnny Depp movie, Ed Wood?  Remember it?  It’s about the arguably worst film maker even.  Ironic.  (He smirks and pauses.) [cont.]

And while that may seem like it was Wade predicting his own demise, no, it was me.  He didn’t really say that, I came up with it.  Or at the very least, Theo did.  Theo, who is now with the Cubbies.  Huh.  Times have changed.

Anyway, today it was announced that the ‘Stros have indeed fired him and are potentially, maybe, kinda-sorta considering Thad Levine for the job.  I am selfish and want Levine to stay in Texas (wait, that doesn’t work.  I mean, stay with the Rangers) forever after, but at the same time, I think he’s pretty fabulous and would probably do good things for the Astros.  Now that they’re in the AL, my Giants-half is just fine with them doing well. 

And did you hear about CJ meeting with the Marlins?  I will spare you another player-meets-with-team script, but… those Marlins.  Phew.  They are courting with a capital C.  Will it work?  Will it flop?  Tune in to [station] at [time] to see.

Diamond Girl

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Once upon a time…

There was a girl named Emily.  She sometimes went by the (somewhat-ever-so-vaguely) silly name of Diamond Girl.  She missed baseball.

(She was cute, but not as cute as that dog.)

She drank mugs of black coffee and obsessed about her Facebook privacy settings as a coping method.  Hey, it’s better than some.

Then she twiddled her thumbs and missed baseball a little more.

The End

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Wahoo for Labor Deals!

It’s been a little while since Major League Baseball’s labor deal was finalized, but I’ve been grinning about it pretty much ever since (hey, the stuffing probably helped with the grin too).  Today, with all the NBA stuff, I got to thinking about it again.  This labor deal pretty much guarantees peace and justice- that is, uninterrupted labor- for five more years which is, of course, perfectly fabulous.

 There are also things like more HGH testing, more instant replay, more wild cards, more flying pigs, more playoffs, more All Star Game and more international drafting.   Plus better helmets which are ever so slightly silly looking, but hopefully safer.  Insert Rawlings plug here.  (Hint: one fallacy in that list, by the way, while everything else is correct.  Can you spot it?)

Let’s take it bit by bit:

 I am all for more HGH testing although the word is that their strategy is flawed at best, which I don’t doubt.  Still, it is, perhaps, a move in the right direction.

I am all for more instant replay, as long as they design some fantastic, innovation way of doing it fast.  I am not willing to sit around an extra 45 minutes for instant replay like we inevitably end up doing currently.

I am torn on more All Star Game stuff.  Making the players play it, that is.  I understand the intent and basically agree with it, but I have to wonder if maybe some better singers to do the National Anthem or something would be more effective.  Suckering the players into doing something they don’t want to won’t make it more fun.  Making it more fun will, you know?  Selig et al. need some lessons in throwing a party.

I am intrigued by the international draft idea.  I haven’t read up on it extensively, so there may be problems I’m not foreseeing, but it seems like it would be good.  Real good.

I am against all the extra wildcards and expanded playoffs.  I am getting all sleepy just thinking about it.  Surely we have enough wildcards and playoffs.  And if they want to do something about the wildcards, maybe they could get on the whole making-it-actually-wild deal?  You think?

In other news, the Giants are severely delusional as to their importance in the cycle of the world and the planets.  As Willy Wonka would say, “Nobody cares!”  Actually, I think he said, “I don’t care!” but we can just universalize it, right?  Right.

Diamond Girl

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