October 2011
A Peculiar Kind of Bandwagon
This World Series wasn’t exactly the most popular, going in. People came up with a whole lot of reasons that they didn’t want to watch and not that many reasons they did. I danced randomly in the street and wore my antlers around town but that didn’t really convince anyone. (Hmm, I wonder why.)
Then came Game 6 and all its magic and craziness and bam, Game 7 got the highest ratings in almost 10 years. And suddenly this was a series for the ages and baseball is an awesome game and really, why weren’t we all watching before?
*straightens fedora and says, I was watching before*
(Incidentally, why does this blog make me look like such a hipster all the time?)
No, really, what I’m trying to say is that I’m really glad that game brought baseball back to the forefront, in a way, and at the same time I hope the doubters will take this as a li’l sign, if you will. The World Series is a great time and yep, history will be made. Enjoy it, don’t let everything else get in the way and don’t just start watching when things get really famous.
Baseball is an awesome game. But not just sometimes. Always. Game 6 didn’t prove anything, it only kind of righted people’s minds and for that I am glad. Let’s all just watch the World Series next year and cut the cackle, as they say in Tintin. (Can I also just take this moment, then, to promo the Tintin movie which is coming out in December? I haven’t been this excited about a new film since Takers. Or something.)
Diamond Girl
In Which I Do Not Impersonate Brian Sabean, But I Do Give Him a Bit of Advice
If I were Brian Sabean right now (and you know how I love impersonating Sabes), I am honestly not sure what I would be doing right now.
I think I called the Giants a kaleidoscope kind of team way back when in 2010 but now all I see is a tangled, tangled spiderweb.
Frankly, the whole toxicity-of-Rowand-and-Tejada thing really weirded me out, because the idea for the past few years with this team has been that chemistry is a complete non-issue. I think people start hinting darkly at things like that when the team is doing badly, mostly, but I also think this team isn’t exactly the good old brotherhood any more. Some changes may (may? Will.) need to be made and the ownership change only thickens the plot.
So Sabean’s first offseason move (oh, less than 48 hours after the Defending World Champions thing vaporized) was to resign Javier Lopez to a two year deal, worth 8.5 million and extend Jeremy Affeldt for one more year.
Interesting, I say, very interesting.
If I had a beard (which I most certainly do not, for the record), I would be stroking it right now. I mean first of all, HE DIGS THE LEFTIES. And second, yeah, he seems serious about the pitching and especially the bullpen. Like, 8.5 million serious. Very serious, that is.
Personally, I like it. Because I specifically like both those guys, but also because I don’t think the Giants need a big, attractive move (hello, Prince Fielder). Those never work, except when they do, and anyway we just want a contender, right? If this pitching staff is set right and Aubrey Huff develops a tendency to hit balls, that could contend right there. So I think sticking to the core is a smarter way to go and this makes me feel, perhaps incorrectly, but still, that Sabes might agree with me.
Or I might agree with Sabes. But I prefer the former. You know.
Diamond Girl
This One Has a Short Title: Blissful Ignorance.
You know what’s a completely surreal feeling? Sitting in a dark concert, having fasted from internet or radio for going-on-four hours so as not to know the World Series outcome, watching a performer who I am still somewhat convinced is a demi-god. And yet knowing that someone is already the World Champion. That it’s been decided. That the series is over. It was a lot more of an interesting psychological experiment than I meant it to be. I was actually just caught in an epic overbooking of myself.
Allow me to explain!
I bought those concert tickets long before Game 7 was on the radar screen and travelled to Los Angeles for it. For a second (okay, more than a second) I considered playing hookey but I ended up going and yeah, the singer, Philippe Jaroussky, was all demi-god-ish and brilliant and sang three encores and I swooned and got his autograph (it’s perfectness is slightly decreased by the fact that it says, “To Emily” not “To Diamond Girl”, but he was French and I didn’t want him thinking Americans normally have names like Diamond Girl, so…) and was more than, much more than, glad that I went.
So I then plugged my ears, did not turn on my iPod or talk to anyone, spent two hours in LA traffic (I am gritting my teeth together at the thought) and then, around midnight, turned on my television and speed watched the game, through the seventh inning. At which point, by some strange luck, the DVR informed me that the recording had ended, because it conflicted with a taping of Grey’s Anatomy Desperate Housewives of Kansas. Or something. So after swirling my ice water around in my glass and screaming at the screen for a minute, I took a deep breath and checked my trusty At Bat App.
And my blissful ignorance went up in a cloud of Southern California smog.
I stared for a good long moment. And then for a few more good long moments. I tried to muster some congratulatory feelings towards St. Louis, but they didn’t really flow easily. Even more so when I saw David Freese getting his hip little sports car. I am going to need a little while to get over this one.
But yeah, congratulations to the Cardinals. Because really, they had an amazing, bizarre year and Showtime now has a darn perfect team to follow next year. And Texas put up a heck of a fight. It was a dramatic, basically well-played series overall and both teams are really, truly great.
And now the season is over. That’s the part I can’t get over. I keep expecting there to just be another game, another anything, but there isn’t. Free agency kicks in pretty soon, the Hot Stove is heating up and we have a million and one Giants and Rangers topics to break down and beard choices to dissect.
So this is where I say thank you all for following this year and all that jazz and wonderfulness. Let’s comfort each other at this difficult time. I, for my part, promise frequent offseason posts, in between Philippe videos, and photos of my blue Coraline hair on Halloween. Because I know you totally want to see it.
Xs and Os, my friends. Xs and Os. We can survive these months together. Listen to Aubrey Huff sing, for starters.
Diamond Girl
p.s. Tip of the day: all you need to get into a snazzy, members-only lounge with brazed lamb chops and a bunch of desserts and the best coffee in the greater Los Angeles area and candlelit tables without paying is an adorable little brother. I mean, it worked for me. And it was awesome. That is what I will be meditating on in the cold winter days to come.
Play-By-Play of Me During Game 6 of the World Series
Please note: I am not usually (exactly) this bi-polar. Not usually.
At the end of the first half inning- Rangers 1, Cardinals coming up
This game is going to be so good! Super stoked! Yay!
At the end of the first inning- Rangers 1, Cardinals 2
One of those games, huh? Okay, whatever. The Rangers can do that better than the Cards.
At the middle of the second inning- Rangers 2, Cardinals 2
See? What did I say above? Texas can totally do this.
At the end of the second inning- Rangers 2, Cardinals 2
*whistles happily to self*
At the middle of the third inning- Rangers 2, Cardinals 2
somebodyscoresomebodyscoresomebodyscore
At the end of the third inning- Rangers 2, Cardinals 2
nobodyscorenobodyscorenobodyscore
At the middle of the fourth inning- Rangers 3, Cardinals 2
They heard me! Somebody scored!
At the end of the fourth inning- Rangers 3, Cardinals 2
No, you weren’t supposed to score too.
At the middle of the fifth inning- Rangers 4, Cardinals 3
I think baseball should be re-named ping-pong.
At the end of the fifth inning- Rangers 4, Cardinals 3
Or not. No more ping-pong for us.
At the middle of the sixth inning- Rangers 4, Cardinals 3
What’s that, a zero on the board? *displays googley eyes*
At the end of the sixth inning- Rangers 4, Cardinals 4
Okay, I was completely expecting that.
At the middle of the seventh inning- Rangers 7, Cardinals 4
Three runs and caprese pasta for dinner. Mmmmmm.
At the end of the seventh inning- Rangers 7, Cardinals 4
No runs. Salad with avocado. Even bigger mmmmmmmm.
At the middle of the eighth inning- Rangers 7, Cardinals 4
So what’s for dessert? And what should I tweet when this is over?
At the end of the eighth inning- Rangers 7, Cardinals 5
Should I just tweet or post on Facebook, too?
At the middle of the ninth inning- Rangers 7, Cardinals 5
I am not a nail-biter, but now I am getting genuinely goosebumpy. They’re about to… you know…
At the end of the ninth inning- Rangers 7, Cardinals 7
(This is where Diamond Girl died)
At the middle of the tenth inning- Rangers 9, Cardinals 7
(and this is where she was shockingly resurrected)
At the end of the tenth inning- Rangers 9, Cardinals 9
(and then died again)
At the middle of the eleventh- Rangers 9, Cardinals 9
(and then decided, screw it, she was eating her pumpkin pie, this isn’t ending any time soon)
At the end of the eleventh inning- Final score, Rangers 9, Cardinals 10
And then it ended. I scraped the last bits of pumpkin pie crust off my plate, stuck said plate in the sink and stared at the TV screen, with a mingling of shock, heartbrokenness and insane desire for Game 7 to start already. Seriously, how much hours until the 5:00? (Which is when the Rangers will… you know…)
Diamond Girl
Letter to the Weather Gods
Dear Weather Gods,
In case I have failed to mention it before, I really love you and your rain. I love the way it smells and sounds and looks. I spend my summer bowed down in front of the window praying to you for rain (sort of). But I can also never say enough times that context is everything.
Hear that? Yes? So then what on earth would motivate you to schedule a downpour, perfectly timed to allow the Cardinals to use their ace-guy on short rest in the possible elimination game? Really, what?
If it’s money you’re after, I can provide it. In large quantities. I mean, you’ll have to wait until that lame-looking flick with Ben Stiller and Eddy Murphy comes out next month and teaches me the ins and outs of robbing penthouses, but after that I will deliver.
If this is a power thing, then y’all need therapy. I get that you’re better than us and can affect even things as important as the World Series, but really, we all learned that lesson way back when, when you did your thing for forty days and forty nights. And everyone died. Time to move on.
If you think this is funny in some way, then head over to a local comedy club and regale the patrons with this story. When no one laughs, come back to me and apologize.
If it’s a Cardinals win you’re after… I don’t even know what to say. Except that you should really choose your allegiances more carefully because that reflects really poorly on you. May even change my opinion of rain. Seriously.
Stay safe. And drizzly.
xoxo,
Diamond Girl
A Resounding “Yes” to Smoke Signals
Q. I think this was brought up earlier, but is there a problem when something like that can happen? Is there a better way to do it?
La Russa: Yeah, smoke signals from the dugout.
Quotes taken from Big League Stew on Yahoo.
Hey, it isn’t exactly aesthetically pleasing but I also don’t think anyone would mistake it for Lynn, right? I am now, at last, convinced that La Russa is indeed the managerial genius everyone seems to think he is. Smoke signals are just what the Cardinals need. And just the reason they are down 3-2 in the World Series. If they instated smoke signals tomorrow, this series would be theirs.
But I hope they don’t. Because the Rangers are so close I can smell it- I mean, I am closer to Texas here in Los Angeles- and it smells like blueberry muffins with coarse sugar on top and caprese pasta. As Jon Miller would say, “mmm-mmm!”. I am so excited I can barely believe it.
Diamond Girl
p.s. That presser with Theo Esptein today was gold. I just cannot get over the way General Managers say “organization”, with those fabulous, drawn-out vowels. Love it to death.
This is an Annoying Auto-Post
Me and my incredible knack for scheduling trips over the World Series (think: the whole Deserts-of-Africa-in-NYC-deal last year) are going to be vacating the Bay Area for the next week or so. In between the City of Angels chewing me up with long tan legs and spitting me out with bleached blonde hair (exaggeration? Yes. Mostly certainly yes. But still…) I will attempt to watch the World Series and blog.
So. Roadtrip Time!
And yes, Darren Holland rulez with a z. With that fabulous win, the world is back at rights and my nightmares have disappeared.
Hasta la vista, Bay Area. I can’t say I’m sad to be leaving, what with the million and a half earthquakes you’ve thrown at me the past week. And anyway, I never liked you as much minus my Giants.
Diamond Girl
The Cardinals Haunt My Dreams (No, Really)
I had a bad dream last night. My mom (sorry, Mom) was convinced that my family needed more pets than just my fish (who, for the record, I did not end up re-naming Carlos) and wanted us to get two birds. I wasn’t crazy about the idea, but fine.
What kind of birds do you want to get, I asked?
Cardinals, she answered, with a kind of evil glint in her eyes.
Cute and cuddly pet? Uh, no.
I woke up and wondered if I had somehow made it all up, because it seemed way to perfectly symbolic for my feelings at the moment to be true. I mean, I did somehow make it up, seeing as it was my dream, but it was completely unconscious. Which is what makes it basically very weird with a capital W at the beginning.
Anyhow, last night’s game was certainly nightmare worthy and truly painful to watch. There are a million ways to second guess the team’s choices (read: Napoli at first base), but in reality it was just a plain ole’ blowout. They happen. Horribly timed, yes. Unheard of, no. I would like to believe it was just a fluke, too, but I am starting to have a nasty feeling that the Rangers of one of Those Teams, that has trouble in the World Series. I hope they will prove me wrong tonight and in the next three games after that, but we shall have to see. In any case, I am sure I speak for everyone when I say that mostly, I just want to see good baseball out there, no matter who wins or loses. Last night was not good baseball.
Except for, well, Albert. Tip of the beloved white beanie to him for his amazing trio of home runs. It couldn’t have happened to a better guy, other than his Cardinal-ness.
Speaking of Cardinals… let’s just nip the whole giving-Emily-nightmares-thing right in the bud, shall we? Please and thank you.
Diamond Girl
I Need Some Baseball Therapy. Pronto.
Allow me to rant off-topic for a moment: under the best of circumstances, I hate haircuts. We all have our phobias, right? Mine is sitting in a chair with a person brandishing scissors towards my hair. Especially unfortunate when I have paid said person to do said thing.
When the person seems absolutely convinced that I want angled bangs when I most certainly do not want angled bangs, “hate” becomes too mild a term. I loathe haircuts, right about then.
My male counterpart banging his head against a wall.
It took all my willpower not to jump out of the chair and brandish some scissors back at the stylist. But since I am a (basically) non-violent person, I just closed my eyes and imagined Nelson Cruz hitting a walk-off grand slam and Adrian Beltre hitting three homers in one game. My mildly-mutilated hair suddenly felt a whole lot better. Until I opened my eyes and looked in the mirror.
Don’t they look menacing?
I need some baseball therapy. Pronto.
World Series, where are you?
Diamond Girl
In Which I Become a FOX Defendant
I never thought I would do this, but here I am. I am about to lump myself with FOX. Why? Because, well, (deep breath) I also thought Kansas City was in Kansas. There. I said it.
I admit that sometimes I am irrational, but I don’t think this was an example of that. I mean, it would make sense for KC to be in Kansas, right? Several Google searches later, it appears that there is a KC in Kansas and it mirrors the other one, in Missouri which is the home to the Royals. So me and FOX weren’t entirely incorrect. (Just mostly. You know.) Is your head spinning yet? Because mine most certainly is.
This is all to say that as many faults as FOX has, this one is understandable to me.
And why is everyone ripping their x-ray camera, too? I kind of dig it, actually. It gives the whole thing a new perspective and makes the somewhat (somewhat?) boring broadcast a little more fun. For instance, with that ball that Beltre said hit him… it totally proved him right.
Anyhow, last night was a lot more fun that Wednesday, I will tell you that. The Rangers seemed to break out of their Oh-My-God-We-Are-In-The-World Series funk, in the way I remember the Giants doing it in Game 1 last year, following that crazy first inning (remember Timmy’s error? And how we all thought that was it? Ha.). And it was glorious to watch. It wasn’t beautiful, it wasn’t a show of crazy offensive strength, it wasn’t spectacular in any way. It was more, to me, the team showing how they can win even when they are not at their very best and that, my friends, is glorious.
Watch out, Cardinals, the Texas Rangers are here with a vengeance. (Can you say “here with a vengeance” or does it need to be “back with a vengeance?)
Now I need to go eat apple sauce and click my heels together and say, kansascityisnotinkansaskansascityisnotinkansaskansascityisnotinkansas a million times. If you’ll excuse me…
Diamond Girl
p.s. It is worth noting, you know, that the game only started to go the Rangers way when I remembered to put on my antlers in the late innings. And Nolan Ryan’s tan trench coat was wonderful. That too.









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