First! I have discovered WordPress polls (late to the game? Yes.) and have my very first here. Spill your secrets, people!
Look. I’m not accustomed to saying this about Dodgers, but you are a pretty darn amazing pitcher. This, we know. And I respect good pitchers, even if they pitch under the watchful eye of that silly “THINK BLUE” sign. I think it’s very sweet that you have 20 wins and are the frontrunner for the Cy Young Award and are being compared to Sandy Koufax now.
This is all to say, I have no problem with you personally. Even professionally, when you’re facing the Diamondbacks or the Phillies or something. But when you’re facing the Giants? Yes. Yes, I most certainly have a problem with you.
I mean, this is justified. You seem to take immense pleasure in emotionally crushing me so of course I have distaste for your brilliance. You’ve allowed five earned runs over 42 innings against the Giants this year. Do you know how many hours that means I’ve sat next to my radio, listening to you shut down my team? I’m not real strong at math but that’s a lot, Clayton. A whole lot.
I guess I just don’t understand the psychology of a player on an eliminated team who crushes the playoff hopes of a barely-above-water team. And then says, “it’s a shame” afterwards. I mean, that seriously, seriously stings, you know?
Anyhow. We aren’t facing you again this year, which is good news and I hope that this offseason you have a revelation and go to Mongolia and live with the yaks or something nice like that. Or, eh, how many years until you become a free agent and head off to the American League? Not that I’m counting or anything.
p.s. If there’s anything I’ve learned about Cy Young awards over the years, it’s that you should try and be in a place with good cell phone reception during the day they came the winner. Just a word of advice.