Monthly Archives: July 2011

Barry Does a Mean Warrior Pose and Brian Looks Like Assyrian Art

Seeing  Jesus Guzman makes me miss him even more.  There.  I said it.  If that went over your head because you have blissfully forgotten about his existence/stint with the Giants, that’s just fine.  I just, you know, had to say it.

Anyway!  I think we just out-Padre’d the Padres.   Which is impressive.  Although it doesn’t exactly feel like that- it alternates between feeling like we were crushed and we crushed them-, the Giants split the series against San Diego and are 50-39 as of right now.

That’s a “wow” moment for me.  I have no idea how they’ve won 50 games.  With Buster and Freddy going down, the first half shouldn’t have gone this well.  Resilance makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside and the Giants have serious quantities of it.  Did you see Eli’s mini-redemption moment?  Not to mention Barry’s super-redemption moment(s)?  ::swoons::  (Has anyone else noticed how obsessed Showtime is with Zito?  I mean, this whole trailer is him doing yoga.  He does a mean warrior pose, but…?)

And Cleveland, Texas, Milwaukee and San Francisco are all leading their divisions (well, the Brewers are tied for first place).  Those are my teams.  I can’t stand them BoSox or them Phillies, but you win some you lose some.  I am liking how the season is shaping up.

But here’s what I actually want to talk about:  this video on a few days ago got me thinking about Giants doppelgangers.  Not like the creepy “Twin Lincecum” lookalike or even the fact that Brandon Crawford looks a heck of a lot like Zac Efron.   Like going back a few hundred- maybe a few thousand years.  Check out what my time machine has discovered.

Tim Lincecum and Raphael

Brian Wilson and Random Assyrian Priest

What do you think?  Am I onto something, a little more than CSN?  I kind of think so.  And by the way, you can see the most beautiful Assyrian art in the Near Eastern wing at the Met museum in New York.  So worth it.  Whether or not you see the beard resemblance.

Now if you’ll excuse me, there are recycled earrings to be made and books about Ewan McGregor’s motorcycle odysseys to be read.  The Mets are in town which means there are sure to be some wild trade rumors.  If I could possibly be any more stoked, I would be now.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  Jon Daniels has many things but totally awesome grammar is not one of them.  Really unique,  Jon?  Really?

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A Padres Rookie Walked Off and Drank Shirley Temples, Right?

I’m a totally lame fan and after the 12th inning I switched off my radio.  In my defense, I was reading about crack dealers in Chicago in Freakenomics and it was pretty riveting.  And when I finished, I fell asleep, so…  Not to mention that I’d already spent two hours at an under-five-feet baseball game earlier.  Excuses, excuses!

What did I dream about?  A Padres rookie who had his first walk-off ever and so, according to team tradition, was drinking Shirley Temples and taking midnight batting practice. 

Then Brian Wilson walked in, sans beard, and I gave him a thumbs up for shaving it.  He thanked me very pleasantly. 

You know what actually happened last night?

(Gotta love that Padres pitcher’s motion, by the way.)

Actually, Nate Schierholtz had his first walk off hit.  Whether he drank a Shirley Temple or not is unconfirmed.   But he didn’t just walk off.  He hit a home run- his second of the night- that bounced into the Cove.  It was one of the purest home run shots I’ve ever seen, such a smooth and integral motion.  I can’t stop watching it, over and over.

Nate has totally been a secret weapon this year.   Cody’s the champion right fielder and everything, but personally I feel real nice about having Schierholtz guarding triples alley and taking a spot in the lineup. 

And then there was, well, the bullpen.  They were unbelievably beautiful, even if Wilson looked a little shaky at first, and eventually threw a cool eight innings of two-hitter-ness. 

Isn’t it amazing how a feeling about a team can change so dramatically in just one day?  My mood app (mood rings are seriously passé, for the record) is getting a workout, that’s for sure.   This is one of those strange things called a four game series, so we have one last breathe-this-is-only-the-first-half game against the Padres this evening.  It’s Barry pitching for the Giants, which should be interesting.   I think his third start back will be catalyst game for him.  This time, I promise to listen to the whole thing.  Baseball gods, don’t go and make it 17 innings now, okay?

Diamond Girl


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Now Seems Like a Good Time to Discuss Me and My Pirate History and the Columbus Clippers

Yesterday’s Giants game made me smile huge.  First, the mis-communicated hit and run made me laugh.  My brother has been teaching me his All Star team’s signs and they are really, truly complicated.  I know a missed sign should outrage me, but then it turned out so well, so can I really complain?  Not to mention I had been eating whipped cream that evening and was in a pretty good mood, so I was letting things slide.  And then there are few things I love more than a pitcher getting an RBI hit.

On the mound, Cain wasn’t his best.  The offense also wasn’t, ahem, their best (what even is their best?).  Torres felt disrespected and outraged.  The world hated Aaron Rowand with a passion usually reserved for people who steal candy or balloons from children or something.

(Sorry had to break out the Despicable Balloon scene again.)

To be clear, Rowand did none of the above.  The Padres are, creepily, not in last place anymore and a 2010-way-too-close-for-comfort 8 games out of first place.  Okay, maybe not way too close for comfort.  Just a little bit.  I admit it, I am Padre-Paranoid.   A win would be a nice thing right about, well, now.

But I actually want to talk about the Pirates.  I know, everyone wants to talk about the Pirates.  Which is why I want to take you back to July 31st, 2010 when I posted this and changed my background to the yellow and black:

Pittsburgh Diamond Girl

I am now officially a Pirates fan.  Showing solidarity.

(Joe Martinez was traded to the Bucs.)

Don’t worry, San Fran’ers.  I’ll be a Giantette again soon.


See?  I was a Pirates fan way back when they were not in second place and actually making a mid-season run.  I’m very happy for them that they’re doing well and so is Joey, for that matter.  He’s 6-3 with a 4.09 for the Indians AAA affiliate, the Columbus Clippers.

Don’t their colors suit him, too?  I think we need some Ryan Vogelsong magic to bring him back to the Pirates (his former team, if only for a few months) and take them to the World Series.  If you’re out there, Neal Huntington…?

Diamond Girl

p.s.  Let’s all channel positive energy to Ryan Braun so he’ll get well soon and play in the All Star Game, okay?

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Why the San Francisco Giants Need To Be Reading InStyle And Listening to Lullabies and Love Songs

The Dodgers are the Giants rivals.  This, we know.  But they’re vaguely pitiful rivals right about now and the attempted creation of a rivalry between the Giants and Rockies (think: humidor) has sort of lost steam.  The Rockies are certainly opponents.  Just not really rivals.

Enter the Padres!  (Dramatic music.)

San Diego was good last year and dismally bad this year.  Through it all, they have become the arch-nemesis of San Francisco.  Partially, yes, because we can’t seem to beat them but also because they are a well suited rival- somewhat similar (good pitching, no offense) and they are of course, in the League of the Sunny Beaches.   National League West, that is.

Which is why yesterday’s 5-3 loss was more painful to watch than any old game.  Lincecum wasn’t terrible but he wasn’t great and he pulled the mental issues on the mound skeletons out of his closet (really, who pulls skeletons out of their own closet?) while Pablo hit like there was no tomorrow and the rest of the offense slept peacefully.

Speaking of sleeping… I’ve come to the (only logical) conclusion that sleep is the problem.  Not enough sleep.  Hear me out, or rather read this article from yesterday’s San Francisco Chronicle.  In summary, it’s about a small study on Stanford athletes, showing that when they supplemented their recommended eight hours of sleep with an extra two, their sports performance got demonstrably better.  So I think the Giants (yes, even Cody Ross and his million-watt smile) need a few more hours of shut-eye.  So I’ve made a list of tips for sleeping better.  I am totally a source on this.  Me and Sleep are real tight.

  • Buy Lullabies!  Tanja Solnik’s CD of Lullabies and Love Songs puts me to sleep every time.  In a good way.

  • Read Ball Four (If You’ve Already Read it, Read Again)!  I loved that book.  I really did.  But every time I picked it up I fell asleep like clockwork.

  • Read InStyle Magazine for that matter.

(Okay, enough InStyle.)

  • Stretch!  While exercise is a no-no for an hour or so before going to sleep, a few stretches can loosen your body and make you more comfortable and ready to sleep.  I’m rather partial to lying upside down on my big blue ball, daydreaming about a reality show with Theo Epstein/Jon Daniels showdown.  Am I completely imagining that rivalry?

  • When all else fails… turn on late night sports radio.  While the bashing of yourself, may stress you out, it’s the ultimate cure for insomniacs.  Think, Was the Cousins/Posey play clean?  Again.  And again.  And again.

Sweet dreams.

I mean, wake up! 

There’s a game tonight!  And then sweet dreams.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  When John Axford of the Milwaukee Brewers posted this photo to his Twitter account about a fish in his hotel room, all I saw as the Alba orange exfoliating cream in the background.  I was thrilled.   I absolutely love Alba.  Ballplayers do too!

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It Never Rains But It Pours and A Special Happy Birthday

I’ve had a great time in Detroit.  I mean, vicariously.  Through the Giants.  I love their hyper-emotive pitchers.

And their torrential rain storms and orange skies that follow kind of rule too.

(Photo from @hankschulman, which is basically to say I am not responsible for the quality.)

We have a lot to talk about so let’s jump right in…

I called that offensive explosion, didn’t I?  I actually said there probably wouldn’t be one.  But that meant that the thought crossed my mind when everyone else was just talking about them having no offense.  So I kinda-sorta called it.  15 runs, in all.  And six shutout innings from Zito after pitching on (short) three days rest and (long) three hour rain delay rest.  I can’t say I agree with his rapper choices (Mac Miller?  Really?) but hey, if it works for him.

Today was depressing with a capital D.  There was the whole hitting with RISP and the whole Pitchers Are Supposed to Throw Strikes thing, too.  Then again, this was a happy day- win or loss- because it signals the end of Interleague Play and the Giants taking two out of three left Detroit only half a game back in their division, which is good.  My money and heart are still on the Tigers to win the Central.  San Francisco finishes the roadtrip with a winning record and a lead in the West.  What more can a girl ask for?  (I mean, aside from hitting with RISP and strikes and maybe some D&G sunglasses.)

Today was also All Star Sunday.  I am appropriately indignant about several players (where is Elvis?  I mean, really?  Not on the roster?) because that seems to be a mandatory thing about being a baseball fan, but overall fine with the rosters.  Ryan’s the starting left fielder and he always promises to put on a good show, the Yankees cleaned up and I am in denial that someone I’ve never heard of beat out Joe Mauer, so all is well in the world. 

We also have a special birthday to celebrate- aside from, you know, the country’s birthday tomorrow- and that is the 44th of GM Extraordinaire #5, Brian Cashman!   Incidentally, Brian Sabean’s was on July 1st, but I was unaware.  So happy belated to him as well.  I think I need to make a calendar of GM birthdays.  This is unscientific, but they seem to mostly be born in December.  This is weird.  I need to investigate.  Catch y’all later.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  I know I am way too deep in Little League mode when I paste a smile on my face and say “Nice catch, Tiger” after Ryan Raburn’s catch.  I needed to remind myself that this is not LL and being nice to the opposing team is not necessary.   But that got me thinking that it’s actually a nice gesture they ingrain in the kids, like high fiving the opposing team afterwards, win or lose.  The fact that they mutilate that into high fiving their own teammates on the field afterwards at the Major League level has also struck me as strange.  Selig, are you listening?  Forget about the protecting the catcher rule change.  We need a rule change right here.

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