Monthly Archives: June 2011

Diamond Girl’s Great Guide to Health And Wellness For Ballplayers To Protect From Murderous Opposing Teams

Okay, let me tell you the difference between the Giants and other teams: We. Don’t. Crash. Ever.

If that sounded a little computer-y, you’re absolutely right. You know how much I love quoting The Social Network (watch from .54 seconds). But if you squint, it might sound like it’s about the 2010 Giants vs. the 2011 Giants. Last year? Nobody got hurt. But if one domino goes, the other dominos go (fine, done with the quoting) and this year we’ve just had the darndest luck.

In case you live under a rock/like to spend your Saturday’s sleeping (understandable) Brandon Belt was placed on the disabled list with a hairline fracture of the left wrist following the Giants 2-1 loss to the Rockies this afternoon and Conor Gillaspie (Best. Name. Ever.) was called up. I’d say I don’t know who else could possibly get hurt but then they would go and get hurt to remind me and we don’t want that to happen, do we?

Which is why I have created a great guide to health and wellness for all of the San Francisco Giants and their affiliates (hey, you can use it too. If you want.) Whether you are injured- yet- or not, this is a guide to being physically and mentally the best you that you can be! Oh. I said I was done with the quoting, didn’t I? Sorry. Anyway. Here we go:

Diamond Girl’s Great Guide to Health And Wellness For Ballplayers

Eat In, Rock Out

Make sure you’re loading up your diet with foods that strengthen your bones like spinach (in a salad, with red onions? Joy.) and milk (with Oreos. You are never too old for that).

Make sure that your walk-up music not only revs you up but puts you in a good state of mind to avoid the blows of murderous opposing teams. Some hypnotic Tibetan Bowl might do the trick. Or Enya, if you’re more mainstream.

Mellow Out, Breathe In

Yoga on the field may sound like a joke linked to Barry Zito’s name but it really loosens the tension in your body and when a group of Little Leaguers were led in mediation during warm-ups, they absolutely killed it during the game (the mediation leader may have been horrified, but it worked). True story. But if that sounds too close to the Dodgers guru for comfort, I get that.

Sleep In, Move Out

While people claim that sleeping too much is bad for you, I find that doubtful. Make your home a haven of wellness (move, if need be) and make sure your plane is decked out and nice to sleep on. And please try not to get in altercations with your teammates about putting the seat back, okay?

You are now on your way to being healthy and well! And when all else fails? Run. I mean it. The DL is a terribly crowded place and I promise not to compare you to Julia Roberts in The Runaway Bride afterwards.

Diamond Girl

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The Lowdown On Posey/Sabean/Cousins/The Waterfall of Negative Energy

As you probably know, Brian Sabean went on KNBR yesterday and made some scathing and unpleasant (understatement of the year? Perhaps) remarks about the whole Buster Posey/Scott Cousins situation.  You can listen to the podcast here.

The two opinions seem to be a) it was a calculated move to rile his team and b) he was angry and just out of line.  If it was A, fine.  I don’t think riling is the greatest course of action when the person in question has a whole security team due to death threats.  But fine.  And if it was B?  He’s been a General Manager for 14 long years.  Surely he knows how to control his temper to the press.

Either way, his statements could have left us all thinking, he’s angry and bold… and classy!  Frankly, they left me thinking, that’s totally classless.  As I’ve said before, when you’re employed by Major League Baseball you have a responsibility to speak to the media as a spokesperson for them at all times.  If you want to rile your team, shut the door and pull down the curtains and speak your mind.  When you’re on the radio, a few clichés are just fine.  I sure hope the rumors are right and the Dodgers manager (because he will always be that, in my mind) makes Sabes apologize.

I also, honestly, object to Brian calling the injury “horrific”.  The definition of that word is “grossly offensive to decency or morality; causing horror; “subjected to outrageous cruelty”; “a hideous pattern of injustice”;”.  There are truly horrific injuries (keeping this within baseball…. Bryan Stow, anybody?) and Posey has a broken ankle.  Believe me, I am a fan of this team and it breaks my heart.  This is Posey’s life and career and livelihood.  This is beyond enormous  and career defining to him and I understand that.  I just think we should keep in perspective that he has a broken ankle and a world class medical staff tending to him.  I just don’t think it cuts it as “horrific”.

Mostly, I’m sad that we have to debate this.  Posey had a terrible injury and instead of the public’s focus being on positive change (making a rule to prevent this from happening again) and trying to make the team succeed anyway, it’s all on this PR nightmare.

So since I can’t stand negative energy, I’m going to leave it at that and not blame the team for their management.  The Rockies are in town, there was a win last night, the Giants are in first place, it’s Orange Friday and there is much to be done.  Hugs all around (that includes Cousins!), okay?

Diamond Girl


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When Life Gives You Lights Out, Play “Lights”!

I gave Tony La Russa a call last night.  He didn’t pick up.  So I texted him and said, “Nice try, RuRu.”  He didn’t answer.  I can’t decide whether he was more offended by the message or the nickname.  Then again, one good turn deserves another and you think it was fun to stand on the 3rd base line for half an hour on Opening Day?

In all seriousness, I don’t think the lights going out (and the ensuing 15 minute delay with one pitch to go til the end of the game) was a conspiracy and it’s a blip on the map in the long, drawn out and- dare I say it?- torturous win over St. LuLu.  It featured some stellar hitting and relief pitching, with Sergio Romo totally redeeming himself and me falling more and more in love with Brandon Crawford.  Manny Burriss had a big moment, which made us Manny-ites happy and then there was Nate Schierholtz.  What can I say about him except that I still can’t spell his name and it’s about time!  He’s finally playing like he should, you know?  And it’s so gratifying to watch him and a nice revelation from the endless parade of slumping outfielders.  Then there was Aubrey.  I can’t say that might be a sign he’s heating up.  I’m become a total skeptic about him.  I need to see a whole lot more before I’ll laugh and talk really fast with the only decipherable words being, “slow starter”. 

I just realized that this is actually a four game set (why, Bud?  Why?) so my eyes will be peeled for any more suspicious stuff at Busch Stadium and I will be praying that Arizona cools off a little before we go out there in two weeks.

Around the league, the Angels team flight had an emergency landing (aaah!) Dodgers have a fire and an unfit parent on their hands (I feel for them.  I really do.) and Kansas City had an incredibly sweet proposal which I keep watching over and over, trying to decide if I think it was really a surprise or not.  I vaguely think it was all planned.  And yeah.  Santa doesn’t exist.  Sorry.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  Bye-bye, Ryan Rohlinger and happy travels in the Rockies organization!  We’ll miss you ’round here.

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