My Disappointment in AT&T Park Is The Size of a Range Rover

Sean Parker:  When you go fishing you can catch a lot of fish, or you can catch a big fish. You ever walk into a guy’s den and see a picture of him standing next to fourteen trout?

Christy: No, he’s holding a three-thousand-pound marlin.

Sean Parker: Yup!

Mark Zuckerberg: That’s a good analogy.

Eduardo Saverin: Okay, but we all know that marlins don’t really weigh three-thousand pounds, right?

Christy: Have you seen the big ones up close?

Eduardo Saverin: No I haven’t, but I really don’t think the guy’s holding a marlin the size of a Range Rover. That would be a really big fish and a very strong guy.

Christy: You think we might be getting away from the point?


There are a lot of jokes you can make about the Marlins, but this one is my favorite and it comes from my favorite scene in The Social Network.  That script is just incredible.  (More marlins and trout stuff here.)

So last night was, believe it or not, my first regular season Giants game this year and I was way excited.  But I’m going to be brutally honest with myself and y’all and say it wasn’t hugely fun.  Actually, it was hugely not fun.  Here’s why:

Imagine you’re at a party that gone too late into the night verging on too early in the morning.  It’s stale and sloppy and though it was a good time at the beginning, it isn’t any more.  Welcome to AT&T Park, 2011.  The kicker came in the 8th inning when a fight broke out across the aisle and several rows up from where we were sitting and one man pushed another who somersaulted, headfirst down seven rows and, unbelievably, landed on his feet.  The usher tried to break it up and took out the girlfriends, but security didn’t show for a good five minutes, until the inning break.  Five minutes.  They first took out the man who was hit and it took them another good five minutes to come back and take the man who had pushed him.  They left his friends who, for the rest of the game, were laughing hysterically and wildly miming the fall with their hands.  And the girlfriends kept going up and down and in and out and up and down and in and out.  Not only was it annoying and distracting, it didn’t feel entirely safe.  As we exited with one of the girls, she lit a cigarette, a few inches away from an usher.  No one made a peep.  AT&T Park is a no smoking facility, in case you were wondering.

In the wake of the Bryan Stow incident and with enormous sellout crowds this year, shouldn’t security be the foremost concern?  I’m not blaming the Giants for having rowdy fans.  But I’ve seen in the past at other stadiums an entire row being ejected, no questions asked, following a minor altercation.   I don’t know if the Giants think a bold security presence is not cool or they are genuinely understaffed or unprepared for these crowds, but either way it is totally unacceptable.  It makes me miss the Coliseum, which sounds crazy, but it’s true.  My baseball game attendance will be there, for a while.

The thing that really bothers me is that this didn’t feel isolated or just drunken.  It’s a vibe at the park and I don’t like it.  And the organization is also responsible for that, to some extent.

Then again, even when there were cat fights bubbling over and I couldn’t feel my toes anymore from the freezingness my mantra was, You could be in Texas, you could be in Texas, you could be in Texas.  My heart goes out to everyone tornado-effected.

Diamond Girl


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2 responses to “My Disappointment in AT&T Park Is The Size of a Range Rover

  1. Damn… That really sounds like Giants execs don’t care, huh? I can tell you this about Yankee Stadium, they don’t play that! lol… Multiple ushers/security are on anyone who’s close to fighting within seconds. And then they’re followed by the police, literally within two minutes. And then the crowd in the section gets into it with the “A**hole” chants…!
    Hell, even if drunken folk who are getting too loud will be ejected! I’ve seen it!

  2. I gotta say, for all the talk about Wrigley being a big party and especially the bleachers being a drunk fest, I don’t remember ever seeing a fight. Maybe it’s all the ushers and security around that make people think twice

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