Fear the Razor and the Moon Might Really Be Made Out Of Blue Cheese

Oh yeah.

Extra inning games and walk-offs tend to bother me, because I think a team should be able to win without ‘em, but that win was really, really good.  It felt like a giant, “Snap out of it!”

I mean, Aubrey’s homer made him kindof/sortof/wecansayitdid snap out of it and we can only hope the same happens for Cody.  And all the Schierholtz /Fontenot wonderfulness is the kind of thing that makes me wear my wacky grin everywhere for a few hours.  But no, they haven’t shut up about his height.  It’s okay.  As long as he’s good, I’ll take it and I’m sure he will too.

Now I’m going to make a bold statement.  You ready?  Need a refill on the popcorn?  Okay.  Get it.  Then hurry back so you can hear my bold statement.  This is it:

People do better without beards.

Cody Ross is example given.  I could go on and on about why psychologically, but physically?  I don’t think it’s rocket science.  I’ve never had a beard (duh factor there) but I imagine it would be kind of uncomfortable, not to mention take a lot of grooming time which takes away from conditioning time, not to mention puts undue stress on your wrists, hands and arms.  Just when Timmy laid off the blowdryer and his hair started looking air-dried that directly correlated to his pitching better.

I know nobody else buys that theory but I dare a beat writer to actually ask him about that.  Just like I dare someone to go take a piece of the moon and eat it and prove it’s not blue cheese, albeit old cheese with no oxygen.  I’m serious.  Okay, I’m not serious about the blue cheese.  But I’m serious about the facial hair/normal hair habits and how that impacts a player.

And… (::looks around, then whispers::) you look better without a beard too.  Fact, Brian Wilson.  Fact.

Worst case scenario?  You end up like this oompa loompa. 

So how about this year the Giants become the clean-shaven team?  Fear the, um, razor?

Diamond Girl

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