I Just Left This Phone Message For Brian Sabean

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Please leave a message after the beep.  (Beep.)

Uh, Mr. Sabean?  It’s me, Diamond Girl.  I’m back.  You may remember me from our semi-uncomfortable conversations last year.  Now might be a really nice moment to pull off one your incredible 2010 worthy moves.  Picking someone out of obscurity and getting rid of people who don’t work.  Or maybe it’s too early in the year for that and you’re going to make us suffer through a few more months of bizarreness before you rescue us.  Either way, give me a call back ASAP because I have some tart with plum jam and almond cream that you might be interested in tasting.  And you we need to talk about how you’re going to congratulate Danny Runzler (am I coining Danny?) on his engagement.  And I want to discuss some interesting stuff I was just reading about you in A Band of Misfits, by Andrew Baggarly.  About how you and other GMs don’t get along.  This is a new development.  If you aren’t into young GMs then why did you do the whole Bengie Molina/Chris Ray/Cash trade?  And oh yeah, I was doing some brainstorming last night and came up with the idea of sending down Lincecum, Sanchez and Bumgarner down and bringing up Edlefsen, Kroon and Vogelson to take their places.  Or just sending Belt down, because you know how much I love Travis and how mad it made me that you put him in jeans for the ring ceremony.  So unclassy.  Anyway.  I didn’t mean to put you off your lunch.  Kershaw was nasty last night, fair and square.  And Affeldt nailed his speech and it was beautiful and tasteful, so you all did something right.  Downer phone messages at lunch time mess up the whole rest of the day.  Don’t worry, we’ll be okay.  Wacky starts don’t equal wacky ends.  You just need to call me.  Take care.  Talk to you soon.

Click.

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