Monthly Archives: March 2011

Why AT&T Park Needs a Garden, Why Belt Should Stay Down and On Painting Andres Torres’s Toenails and Confessing to Pat Burrell

My father called this little news piece to my attention yesterday.  It’s a nice idea, but I initially didn’t understand it and thought it meant something else.  Let me explain.

I love things that grow.  If your store has potted plants, I will buy everything you sell.  Even maxi skirts.  I hate maxi skirts.  But I love plants.  This photo from Mark Zuckerberg’s Facebook page (yes, I stalk Zuck.  Your point is?) is of a restaurant with a tree in the middle.  I drooled.


So when I read the article about the Mariners promotion, I initially thought, They’re asking people to bring soil to start a garden at the stadium?  That. Is.  So. Beyond. Great.

They’re actually giving away soil.  But now the idea is in my head.  It could be a little vegetable garden.  I’m sure they could get volunteers to take care of it and the players could all have a plant they sort of sponsor.  Like “Pat Burrell’s Pumpkin” and “Javier Lopez’s Tomatoes”.  You know.  Stuff like that.  It would add a slightly rustic vibe to the park and have some benches.  It would be slightly enclosed, like the mini diamond for toddlers at AT&T Park and you’d obviously have to have a ticket to the game to go in it.   Things that grow make every space a little nicer to be in.  You’d just have to figure out how to keep the seagulls out.  Good luck on that.

The Giants are hitting some bumps in the road in various areas of their play and this is sort of a bad time for that.  I mean, there are worse times like during a pennant race in September, but this is a bit of an end-of-Spring-Training nightmare.

And there’s the whole Brandon Belt thing.

I personally think Belt will the start the season in AAA, and rightly so.  As far as I can tell, the 2011 team has been built without the idea that Belt will be a defining factor.  Sabean signed a first baseman for three more years in the offseason.  I’m sure he projects Belt contributing- perhaps even majorly- this year and certainly 2012/13, but the team is just structured to work without him, I think.  And two relatively minor injuries shouldn’t change that.  There are many, many internal options and I don’t think it would hurt Belt to see a few more weeks/months in AAA.  It feels ever so slightly panicky to put him on the Opening Day roster.

Of course, Opening Day roster is the roster for one day.   The next day, it can change.  It’s more symbolic.  And symbolically, I think it’s better for Belt not to be there.

And the Neftali Feliz saga?  No comment.  ::shakes head::

Diamond Girl

p.s.  Just checked out the Giants 2011 commercials.  It’s an interesting campaign.  Sort of taps into every fan’s daydreams.  But do you remember that “I’m a Mac and I’m a PC” commercial where PC talks about capturing a family vacation with a pie chart and Mac says, “I feel like I was there!” ?  That was sort of my reaction (watch what I’m talking about here at 3:07).  Then again, if anyone gave me that chance to paint Andres Torres’s toenails, I would so do it.  Confess to Pat Burrell?  Not so much.

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5 Possible Career Options for Bud Selig, the Lord of the Fly Balls

Today wasn’t a good day in Giants news.  Wilson is behind in oblique recovery, Ross is hurt and Cain had an, ahem, tough outing.  People are calling this the Dog Days of spring and that’s slightly comforting.  Nobody does well in August.  Deep breathes.  Deep breathes.

I read yesterday about Selig’s impending (after the 2012 season) retirement.  I think I had heard about it before, but him talking about post commissioner career plans kind of made it sink in for me.  I mean, firstly, how can you follow up a job like the one he has right now?  And secondly…. teacher of sports in modern society (since when is that even a subject) at UW?   Really?  I have some better ideas.

Face of Budweiser        



Inspirational Speaker for the Milwaukee Brewers

‘Cause they probably could use one, what with the Brewer after Brewer going down from mysterious or not so mysterious ailments.  And he seems to love everything about the Brewers, so…

Writer of Nasty Books

It’s a favorite occupation of people after they retire.  Selig could to it too.  I bet it would be a best-seller.  Name ideas:

*The Selig Files

*The Brewer Years

*50(110) Days of Bud

*The Lord of the Leagues

*The Lord of the Fly Balls


Wouldn’t that be a great publicity stunt?  If he retired from being commissioner and became a left-fielder or something? 


There seems to be a lot of doubt about him actually retiring.  Deservedly.  So I figured that should be on the list as a possibility.  If he does stick around, we might end up with apocalyptic events like expanded playoffs or instant replay.  And it would be 2012, after all.  I vote for him retiring.

Any other career ideas, people?

Diamond Girl

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His Name is Bonds. Barry Bonds. And Guess Who Looks Pretty Darn Cool in the Desperate Ballplayers of San Fran Trailer?

(Please send your healing thoughts Eugenio Velez’s way.  A friend who is a Dodger fan- yep, I consort with Dodger fans, on occasion- alerted me about his injury today.  Hope it’s not as bad as it initially looks.)

I always think of Bonds as “the other Barry”.  I guess that was Zito’s title, but I’ve always been a Zito fan and never been a Bonds fan.  And I find this trial really, really fascinating.   I’m not much of a legal buff myself but I’ve found myself following this all closely. 

FAQ about the trial:

*Is Anderson being paid off?

*Bonds didn’t know he was using steroids? 

*HGH isn’t a steroid at all?

*Was that you (Diamond Girl) who arrived late to the jury carrying a Victoria’s Secret bag?

I can only answer the last one and the answer is no.  I am not serving on the jury.  I am not, actually, old enough to serve on a jury.  Even if I were, I am really anything but impartial.  In addition to which I do not shop at VS.  So no, it wasn’t me.

And my answer, which is by no means backed up by anything, to the question about him knowing or not knowing is: there are lies, damn lies and fiction.  That line is courtesy of journalist/writer/professor/connoisseur of strange news Adam Peneberg who is basically a rock star in my mind.  Read Viral Loop.  And subscribe to Fast Company (he’s a staff writer for them).  And hey, if you have the SAT score and the money, go to NYU.  He’s brilliant.

Everyone’s been slamming Tejada these past few days about his marginal spring.  I obviously haven’t seen him play, but I am guessing we should get used to it.  I don’t think he’ll be terrible, this year, but I don’t think he’ll contribute a whole lot.  He’s too normal.  Which sound terrible, but it’s the truth.  He was just a middle-of-the-road free agent and the Giants team is basically Wack Land.  I just don’t think Tejada was a good fit, playing-wise(it’s not like his play has surprised anyone this spring, really) or clubhouse-wise.

That said, I don’t think it’ll stop the Giants from competing (not gonna say winning, people, so give up on that hope) in 2011.  The pitchers might just want to work on pitching the strikeout/fly ball/groundout-to-anything-other-than-short.  Not too hard, right?

Diamond Girl

p.s.  I saw the first trailer for the Desperate Ballplayers of San Fran (actually named “The Franchise”.  Lame.) today and I have just two things to say:

a.  Is that all Pat Burrell can do?  Drink water/beer/unidentified substance while obviously thinking he looks very cool?



b.  Barry looks cool.  Really cool.  The hair is fascinating.  What else is new?


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Phone Conversation Between Jon Daniels and Michael Young à la Confessions of a Shopaholic

It’s a rainout day (at last Arizona gets treated to the weather we’ve had here in the Bay Area for days and days and days), so we’re going to be flies on the wall for a phone conversation between Michael Young and Jon Daniels.

Watch this clip from 1:26 and then proceed to reading blog post.


Michael Young:  Hello?  Mr. Daniels?  It’s Michael Young.  At last we speak.

Jon Daniels:  Uh.

MY:  How’s your leg? Still broken?

JD:  Uh… it’s, um. It’s much better.

MY:  Good. Then kindly limp, stagger, or crawl to a General Manager on my trade list and trade me.

JD:  Um, absolutely, I would love to.

MY:  Good.

JD:  Except… Oh, my God.

MY:  What?

JD:  My aunt has just fallen from the sky in a freak skydiving accident!

MY:  Enough! Unless I am traded by first thing 9:00 on Wednesday morning…

JD:  Mr. Young, uh…

MY:  …the next step will be… personal contact.  Which we haven’t had since the start of Spring Training.

JD:  Absolutely, 9:00 on Wednesday morning.  I have to go.  I’m so sorry. I’ve got to go.

Gets off phone.

You are getting your own ringtone.

Starts recording:

“Do not answer this call, it’s Michael Young.  Do not answer this call it’s Michael Young.”

derek smeath.jpg
rebecca bloomwood.png

jon daniels.jpgmichael young.jpg


And such is the lovely relationship of Michael Young and Jon Daniels (and, you know, Rebecca Bloomwood and Derek Smeath).

Diamond Girl                 

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When Life Throws You a Curveball, Pretend It’s a Zito Curveball.

It’s not like I’ve just gotten any huge, swooping curveballs.  Just a few sneaky ones.  So I was repeating that title in my head when I started sifting through seven hours of tweets yesterday afternoon and started seeing things about Brian Wilson.  Not good things.  Bad things.  Potentially terrible things.  In three words: strained left oblique.

A variety of things went through my head:

Charlie Sheen curse!

Bruce Bochy is nervous?  ::stomach sinks::

What is an oblique anyway?

It wouldn’t be baseball without adversity.

It’s true.  Pretend they’re Barry Zito curveballs or your fill-in-the-blank-with-your-favorite-curveball-throwing-pitcher-of-choice. 

I kind of think the Giants should trade for Feliz (panic move, I know.  This is just going through options in worst-case-scenario.) because last time the Giants traded with the Rangers it turned our pretty darn good for San Fran.  And I’m honestly a little scared for Feliz.  Does Nolan Ryan have a knife to his back, or something?  His sudden enthusiasm about starting is so creepy that I have stopped reading the stories about it.  Maybe Ryan or JD made a really convincing Powerpoint illustrating all the things he could buy with a starter’s salary?  Is there even such a thing as a convincing Powerpoint?  I’ll get back to you about that one.

Anyhow.  The reality is that the Giants have been killing it this Spring Training largely minus Wilson.  The regular season is different, obviously, and they really need that closer, but there are a million other strong links in the team (well, 24, actually).  Remember why they were so successful last year?  No superstars.  People who stepped up when you least expect it.

Now get that blood pressure down, eat some coffee ice cream (I just had some.  Homemade.  Be jealous.) and get a good night’s sleep.  Sweet dreams, y’all.

Diamond Girl


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