So today my father was digging through his drawers and found an Orange and Black Attack Team t-shirt that was thrown to me at the stadium last summer. Why was my t-shirt in his drawer? Because it’s an Adult Large. All the shirts they throw are that size. I personally am 5″1 and it goes down to my ankles. Which makes it totally useless to me, aside from a super-fashion-faux-pas-dress-thing. I am offended. Short people are baseball fans too. So here’s my proposal: throw coupons. Then people can go claim their shirts at a stand in the size of their shirts. Hey, they might even save some money with people forgetting to claim their t-shirts. And short people wouldn’t feel discriminated against.
I went to my brother’s first Little League scrimmage the other day and I started thinking that Little League needs General Managers. Hear me out before you start snickering. Here’s why:
There are no trades or free agents in Little League, but starting at AAA level there is a draft. We all know coaches aren’t really equipped to be drafting, so why not use the GMs for that? During the season they could sometimes assist the manager about on-field operations and they could walk around in suits with cell phones looking bothered and self-important. We already have a good number of parents who do that (not pointin’ any fingers here, but…).
The General Manager might also serve to diffuse the management system which can become a little dictator-like at times. The manager would handle the real live baseball and the GM would handle the politics. That’s a full time job in Little League, you know.
So diplomacy skills, a suit and a Blackberry would be required.
Who would be perfect for this job? Well. Me. Cue the duhs.
And I don’t even require a suite of my own. A little patch of metal bleachers will do. And some free licorice from the Snack Shack.