The Orange and Black Attack Team is Discriminatory and Why Little League Needs General Managers

So today my father was digging through his drawers and found an Orange and Black Attack Team t-shirt that was thrown to me at the stadium last summer.  Why was my t-shirt in his drawer?  Because it’s an Adult Large.  All the shirts they throw are that size.  I personally am 5″1 and it goes down to my ankles.  Which makes it totally useless to me, aside from a super-fashion-faux-pas-dress-thing.  I am offended.  Short people are baseball fans too.  So here’s my proposal:  throw coupons.  Then people can go claim their shirts at a stand in the size of their shirts.  Hey, they might even save some money with people forgetting to claim their t-shirts.  And short people wouldn’t feel discriminated against.


orange and black attack.jpg

I went to my brother’s first Little League scrimmage the other day and I started thinking that Little League needs General Managers.  Hear me out before you start snickering.  Here’s why:

There are no trades or free agents in Little League, but starting at AAA level there is a draft.  We all know coaches aren’t really equipped to be drafting, so why not use the GMs for that?  During the season they could sometimes assist the manager about on-field operations and they could walk around in suits with cell phones looking bothered and self-important.  We already have a good number of parents who do that (not pointin’ any fingers here, but…). 

The General Manager might also serve to diffuse the management system which can become a little dictator-like at times.  The manager would handle the real live baseball and the GM would handle the politics.  That’s a full time job in Little League, you know.

So diplomacy skills, a suit and a Blackberry would be required.

Who would be perfect for this job?  Well.  Me.  Cue the duhs.

And I don’t even require a suite of my own.   A little patch of metal bleachers will do.  And some free licorice from the Snack Shack.

Diamond Girl

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