Monthly Archives: January 2011

The Verdict on Suppan and the Jon Daniels Lookin’ Like Shia LaBeouf Thing

Happy Birthday, Mike Krukow!

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I am a rabid Kruk fan and I care very deeply that people say Kruk and Kuip, not Kuip and Kruk.  That just feels so wrong.  Anyway, I hope he has a lovely birthday and I am so looking forward to listening to him again.

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That’s Kruk and Kuip on baseball.  Ennn-joy the ballgame.

Someone asked me my thoughts on the Suppan signing as the “6th starter”.  I’m not 100% sold on it.  I think the ideal 6th starter is a younger person who is looking to make it, not looking for a place to finish up his career.  But since the Giants have four above-average starters locked in for a few years to come (and Zito who is locked in, above average or not) I can see why they would go with Suppan.  A interesting or iffy young pitcher doesn’t have a place in their organization right now, whereas Suppan could play a solid number six/relief role and he isn’t looking for fame or glory.  He’s already had that.  And if it’s a train wreck in spring training then, hey, there’s a way out.  So I think it’s a basically positive move.

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Rangers FanFest is this weekend and I so, so want to be in Arlington.  I am living vicariously through my Texan readers.  Tell me all about it.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  Yesterday, @MLBFanHouse tweeted, “Does Jon Daniels look a little like Shia LeBeouf? I say yes.”

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I don’t see it.  At all.  My sister does, but I am totally puzzled.  Come to my support, people.  Is there any resemblance? 

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Script: My Conversation with Brian Sabean

Time: The Present

Setting:  Post-apocalyptic San Francisco with red tinged sky and eerie silence, except for bats flying around.  Okay, fine.  It’s an office at AT&T Park.  I was trying just to liven things up.  Brian Sabean and Diamond Girl are sitting in the office.  Sabean is wearing a grey suit, minus jacket.  DG is wearing a sweater dress, jeggings and boots.  Her perfume is Amber by Prada and her purple eyeshadow is from MAC. 

DG:  Hello, Brian!

Sabean (looking slightly suspicious):  Hello, Diamond Girl.

DG:  You know, I’m so glad to meet you.  I’ve always been a huge fan of yours.

Sabean (Looking very suspicious):  Huh.  Funny I saw on your blog that you stopped rooting for the Giants in the World Series because you were unhappy with me.

DG:  Uh, no.  That totally didn’t happen. 

Diamond Girl subtly pulls out iPod Touch and deletes the post he is referencing.

DG:  Anyway, Sabes.

Sabean:  Brian.  Or Mr. Sabean.  Or GM Extraordinaire.   Whatever.  Just not that horrible nickname.   I can’t stan–

DG:  Okkkkaayyy.   Moving right along.  What I was trying to say is just that I think you’ve done a great job at setting up your team to repeat in 2011.

Sabean:  Who gave you this meeting?  I have better ways to spend my time than listening to fangirls tell me why my team is awesome.

DG:  I have my ways.  Of getting meetings.

The scene fades and there is a flashback of DG in a witch hat over a cauldron saying an incantation to get a meeting with Brian Sabean.  Scene flashes back.

DG:  Actually, GM Extrordinai–

Sabean:  Please.  I wasn’t being serious.  That was just an example.

DG:  Oh.  Sorry.  Okay.  Mr. Sabean.  I actually have an idea for y’all.

Sabean:   Do enlighten me.

DG:  You know how you’ve always had that sort of loser-hanger-oner-starter the past few years?

Sabean:  Like Wellemeyer or Joey.

DG:  Right.  Who do you think is going to fill that role this year?

Sabean:  We’re World Series champs, Diamond Girl.  We don’t need loser-hanger-oner-starters.

DG:  I beg to differ.  And the great part is that this interesting, talented, only slightly loser-hanger-oner-starter was just DFA’ed.

Sabean:  That’s too good to be true!

DG:  But it is true.  His name is Armando Galarraga and the Tigers DFA’ed him.  Sure, there’s a 2.5 million dollar contract there, but we got money, right?

Sabean:  Wow, Diamond Girl!  What a great idea!

Sabean turns to phone and calls Dave Dombrowski .  Within a few minutes, the deal is complete. 

Exeunt DG and Sabean.  Scene fades.

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My eyes are crossing.

My eyes are crossing.

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My Twitter feed is exploding with tweets about people who I’ve really, totally never heard of and their arbitration deals.  I mean, why did nobody warn me that today is The Ultimate Arbitration Day?  A little warning would have softened the blow and I would have done a cucumber treatment on my eyes last night in preparation for the exploding Twitter feed thing.

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I had a dream last night that the Rangers re-signed Bengie Molina and it made me wonder if there’s any news on him.  Google News search ensues.  No news.  In the dream I was also stumbling across the field at AT&T Park, which was made out of that bizarre springy material they have on playgrounds, in these nightmarishly high shoes.  Yeah.  Bengie being re-signed was the only nice part of the dream.

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So what’s the weirdest baseball dream you’ve ever had?  As you probably know, I dream a good deal about baseball.  Especially in the offseason.  Do share, beautiful people.  And sweet dreams to all.

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Diamond Girl

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500 Facts to Brighten Your Blue Monday

No, you misread the title.  It said 5 facts to brighten your Blue Monday.

Not that my Monday needs any brightening.  But I just read that today is something called Blue Monday- a day called by “scientists” the most depressing day of the year.  Reading that was the most depressing thing that’s happened to me all day, honestly, but I figure some of you might need brightening.  So.  5 Facts to Brighten Your Blue Monday.

5.  Josh Hamilton left the hospital today, after being there for five days with pneumonia.  Wishing him a smooth rest-of-recovery.

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4.   Albert Pujols will not leave the Cardinals.  If we repeat that enough times, it will totally come true.  Join hands.  Positive affirmations only.

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3.  Moneyball comes out in 249 days.  I am still not sold on the whole Brad Pitt thing but I am, evidently, counting the days ’til it comes out.

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2.  And since we’re doing the whole countdown thing here, it’s 73 days until the Ultimate Day, a.k.a. Opening Day.  And I’ll let you in on a little secret.  I just realized the home opener is on a special day for me.  No, I’m not getting married or moving to the set of Lord of the Rings.  Nothing like that.  It’s a, you know, recurring special day.  I will reveal more to my obviously riveted audience later.

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1.  The Giants won the World Series.  Say it out loud, for good measure.  I know it’s become sort of common knowledge now, but it does serve to remember it.

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And here’s to a less depressing tomorrow.  ::clinks orange juice glasses::

Diamond Girl

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The Real (or Desperate?) Ballplayers of San Francisco, Feat. Lincecum with Snooki Hair

This just in: the Giants are going to have their own reality show next season. Reality show.  Diamond Girl is mildly disgusted but also mildly intrigued.  I do have a few questions:

Who’s going to rock the Snooki hair-do?  Barry?  Or Timmy, since he’s half-way there already?

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Is it going to have an alliterative name like, “Geeping up with the Giant-ashians”?  Or they could name it the Real Ballplayers of San Francisco (as opposed to, you know, the fake ballplayers.  And the fake housewives, for that matter).  Will there be the quintessential meltdowns there always are on contest shows?  If so, my money is on J-Sanch as the perfect candidate.  Will there be fights between the neat freaks who want the clubhouse clean and the guys who couldn’t care less?  Will the cameras be let into closed door meetings with Brian Sabean?  Because that may be the only thing that will incite me to watch.

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J-Sanch next season…?

I’m going to have to get on YouTube or Hulu and watch some Hard Knocks to get a sense of what this is all about.  Somehow I don’t know if the “poof” would fit underneath a football helmet, so I doubt they included that mandatory aspect of reality TV.

Diamond Girl

p.s.  Rangers?  If you’re out there reading this, I respectfully suggest that you extend JD’s contract.  Pronto.  I think it’s a very important thing y’all need should deal with sooner rather than later.  But that’s just me.

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