Time: The Present
Setting: Post-apocalyptic San Francisco with red tinged sky and eerie silence, except for bats flying around. Okay, fine. It’s an office at AT&T Park. I was trying just to liven things up. Brian Sabean and Diamond Girl are sitting in the office. Sabean is wearing a grey suit, minus jacket. DG is wearing a sweater dress, jeggings and boots. Her perfume is Amber by Prada and her purple eyeshadow is from MAC.
DG: Hello, Brian!
Sabean (looking slightly suspicious): Hello, Diamond Girl.
DG: You know, I’m so glad to meet you. I’ve always been a huge fan of yours.
Sabean (Looking very suspicious): Huh. Funny I saw on your blog that you stopped rooting for the Giants in the World Series because you were unhappy with me.
DG: Uh, no. That totally didn’t happen.
Diamond Girl subtly pulls out iPod Touch and deletes the post he is referencing.
DG: Anyway, Sabes.
Sabean: Brian. Or Mr. Sabean. Or GM Extraordinaire. Whatever. Just not that horrible nickname. I can’t stan–
DG: Okkkkaayyy. Moving right along. What I was trying to say is just that I think you’ve done a great job at setting up your team to repeat in 2011.
Sabean: Who gave you this meeting? I have better ways to spend my time than listening to fangirls tell me why my team is awesome.
DG: I have my ways. Of getting meetings.
The scene fades and there is a flashback of DG in a witch hat over a cauldron saying an incantation to get a meeting with Brian Sabean. Scene flashes back.
DG: Actually, GM Extrordinai–
Sabean: Please. I wasn’t being serious. That was just an example.
DG: Oh. Sorry. Okay. Mr. Sabean. I actually have an idea for y’all.
Sabean: Do enlighten me.
DG: You know how you’ve always had that sort of loser-hanger-oner-starter the past few years?
Sabean: Like Wellemeyer or Joey.
DG: Right. Who do you think is going to fill that role this year?
Sabean: We’re World Series champs, Diamond Girl. We don’t need loser-hanger-oner-starters.
DG: I beg to differ. And the great part is that this interesting, talented, only slightly loser-hanger-oner-starter was just DFA’ed.
Sabean: That’s too good to be true!
DG: But it is true. His name is Armando Galarraga and the Tigers DFA’ed him. Sure, there’s a 2.5 million dollar contract there, but we got money, right?
Sabean: Wow, Diamond Girl! What a great idea!
Sabean turns to phone and calls Dave Dombrowski . Within a few minutes, the deal is complete.
Exeunt DG and Sabean. Scene fades.