5 Reasons Diamond Girl Should Be the 49ers New GM

I’m going to get everyone’s minds off the offseason for a little while and have some fun…

I follow a lot of Bay Area sports people on Twitter so I’ve been reading a lot about the 49ers search for a new General Manager.  Today, the team president stated that the search will continue until the “right person” is found (you can read the Comcast SportsNet story here).  Well, Jed York, the right person is sitting right here! 

Emily with niners hat.PNG

I love the 49ers so much that I wore a hat with their logo when I got my picture taken with the World Series trophy.  Never mind that this photo appears to the right without the hat.

Allow me to explain:

5 Reasons Diamond Girl Should Be the 49ers New General Manager

5.  I have the GM drawl totally down.  It includes elongating the vowels in organization so it sounds something like, “oorgiinizaaatiooon”.

4.   I know a lot about football.  I mean, I’ve watched enough bad fashion shows to know how a linebacker walks.

3.  I would turn the ‘Stick into a luxury resort to watch the games from.  Complete with fake suns for perfect weather all year round and swimming pools to watch games from.  And we would sell martinis instead of beer.  While we might alienate most of the fan base, I bet we’d get some new fans.

2.  I, um, really love football.  Especially, um, the 49ers.  And I have lots of stupid jokes about the team digging for gold up my sleeve.  And I would personally sing the first verse of Oh My Darling Clementine before each game.  (In a cavern, in a canyon, Excavating for a mine, Dwelt a miner forty niner, And his daughter Clementine…)

1.  I would change my name to Rectangle Girl even though that’s really lame because I want this job so much.

Who is utterly convinced I am the right choice and will get the job?  Positivity only, people.  Positivity only.

Diamo- – oh, sorry.  Right.  Rectangle Girl

2 Comments

Filed under Dailies

2 responses to “5 Reasons Diamond Girl Should Be the 49ers New GM

  1. seedboy

    Would you be willing to change your name to Clementine? (Not a bad idea, after all, it is also the name of a small orange marketed as the “Cutie” http://www.cutiescitrus.com/).
    I do need to respond to your beverage idea. First, 49ers fans drink white wine. I like the martini idea, although with all of the light and heat you plan to bring to Candlestick Point (sorely in need of both), the drinks would get warm; the primary responsibility of a martini is to be ice cold.

    • I kind of like Clementine. Unfortunately, minors can’t change their names without parental permission. Take that one up with my mom. Somehow I don’t think she’d go for me changing my name to be named after a small orange.

      Diamond Girl

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