My little brother was trying to wake me up this morning and having a bit of a difficult time. So he said, “Emily, Matt Holliday was traded!” “Mmm… to who?” (It should have been “to whom”, but I was half-asleep so my grasp of the English grammatical system was slightly impaired.) “The Mets! For Johan Santana!” I sat up straight. “No way!” Yeah, no way. He wasn’t traded. But I am awake now.
So then I was eating olives and thinking about life. And baseball. And sunglasses. And I realized that although Jon Daniels is obviously a good GM (Executive of the Year, people!) he has some style issues. Namely, the sunglasses.
They are atrocious, in my humble opinion. Too small, too tight, too wannabe sporty. So I decided to find some better ones. These D&G frames are a little larger and have a hint of aviator, which is flattering to some face shapes. Since he might not want to fork down the money for D&G sunglasses, there’s this guy in the Westfield Shopping Center in San Fran who sells fake designer stuff, who I’d like to recommend. He tries to sell me a different designer every time I go there.
I was going to give Jayson Werth some sunglasses advice, in honor of his, you know, huge and basically endless contract until I remembered that no matter how good the sunglasses are you have to look good underneath. So step 1 is to cut his hair and shave off the beard. After that, I can give some advice. I’m thinking Versace.
The. Winter. Meetings. Begin. Tomorrow. Be excited. Be very excited.