The Giants walked off against the Padres on Saturday. Very exciting. But what were the first words out of my brother’s mouth when the team stormed out of the dugout?
“Look at Burrell’s hair!”
Explanation needed, right? Because earlier in the broadcast the play-by-play guys had said that Burrell keeps his hat or helmet off in the dugout because he thinks he has the best hair in Major League baseball. ::Alarm bells go off in Diamond Girl’s head::
I couldn’t find a source on Burrell’s quote on the internet, so don’t hold me to it. But I, of course, thought, “no way!” So here are my MLB hair awards.
Best hair: CJ Wilson, of the Texas Rangers
I have become a Rangers fan. Not just ’cause of Wilson’s hair. Bengie is there too.
Most in Need of a Hair-Cut: Tim Lincecum, of the San Francisco Giants
Here’s the deal: Tim Lincecum has a long face. Long face + long hair + long pants = you look long. Which is a style, I guess, but I would at least recommend a trim, if not a serious navy cut. I think he’d look great, like that. He could also use shorter pants, but we’re talking hair, here, not fashion.
Best Electrocuted Hair: Freddy Sanchez of the San Francisco Giants
As mentioned in my last post. Gotta wonder how much gel he uses, because it stands up even after hours under his hat. If he ever needs a new gel, though, I could recommend some fantastic stuff that I use from time to time, to hold curls. I’ve tried it out to spike my brother’s hair a little and it works well for that too.
Wickedly Craziest Hair: Barry Zito of (who else?) the San Francisco Giants.
On his website bio, Zito says, “the owner of some wickedly crazy hair.” This photo is from his website, evidently to illustrate his point.
Most in Need of Growing Out Hair: Alex Rodriguez of the New York Yankees
Picture is from the Eclipse premiere. Yep, the Eclipse premiere. Is A-Rod Team Jacob or Team Edward? I have some issues with his sunglasses as well, but again, hair not fashion.
Most in Need of a Haircut and a Shave: Corey Hart of the Milwaukee Brewers
I could not, unfortunately find a picture of him sans hat or helmet, but this should give you a sense.
Most in Need of a Dye-Job: Juan Uribe of the San Francisco Giants
He doesn’t just need a dye job, he needs dye job to replace this one. Come on, why blonde hair, Oo?
Hair: Brian Wilson of the San Francisco Giants
Hair. Not best, not weirdest. Just hair. The t-shirt is fantastic as well. It’s vote for Row. As in Rowand. But the goatee is basically horrible. So ’08.
Okay, gals and guys. Here we go. Who do your hair awards go to? They can be from any team and in any category; new categories are fine, as long as it’s someone who has spent time as a major or minor league player.
X’s and O’s, friends.